DINK #157 Acting As If….

Posted on : 27-08-2010 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized

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When I was younger, okay I admit from embryo up through my thirties at least, I did not know who I really was nor what I believed in from my own free will. Oh sure, I had some definite preferences such as loving animals, deep belly laughs and swimming in the ocean but for things like what books I most enjoyed reading or music that really touched my heart—I pretty much relied on the people who lived outside of me (which, of course, is everyone!) to take my cues. So you know that if I couldn’t even tell you what was my favorite color then I surely couldn’t tell you what leader I favored and why I chose them.

Then after many years of deep belly button searching and spiritual exploration, I began to know more and more about myself. And what I began to know and, most of the time accept, was that in some groups I had a very, very different way of thinking and feeling about ideas, people, places and things. In looking back on my life, I can see that I’ve always been this way but I just hadn’t realized it. Maybe most of us are this way but often times we just don’t talk about it.

For me, I can see now that when I was in the process of coming around to what I believed and thought that because it was so different, I judged it that I must be wrong. I mean, if people who I respected in my life believed in ways of being that were so different from me, then I must not have a brain in my head. The problem must have been with me, right? Of course I see now that this was a pretty hard way to look at myself. Either- or, black or white, good or bad I could only see things in two ways. In some cases, there are only two ways to see something, I grant you that.

I feel grateful tonight because it feels like my family accepting my wish not to attend an event that they are all enjoying right now is a breakthrough for me and for them. It’s okay that they’ve gone on and that I’m sitting here back in my hotel room catching up on work and touching base with you guys. I enjoyed today very much hanging out with my brothers, etc. and I don’t feel like I have a big ole head of purple hair (not that there’s anything the matter with that if you do).

Acting as if we have a brain in our heads means investigating the meaning of truth for ourselves, accepting who we are and allowing others to be who they are so that maybe just maybe we can all learn how to get along with each other in our own special way.

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