The tough, the meek, and the rest of us get going!   Learned over coffee with a good friend this morning that the Barnes & Nobles right next door to where we were sitting was closing it’s doors sometime at the end of December.  As a customer, I knew that I wanted to purchase some of the great calendars and cards that would be on sale (40% off) but as a Coach, I wanted to connect with at least one of the B&N employees who would be faced with looking for a new place of employment in the New Year to give them some hope.

You have to know that the kind of person who works at a bookstore is usually someone who is smart, has an offbeat sense of humor and not especially extroverted in most cases.  The two employees I spoke with fit this description to a “T” along with an authenticity and sincerity that is nice to find in any person much less a bookstore employee. After asking one of the guys how he was holding up upon learning just last week that their store was closing, he gave the usual “hail fellow” speech with a bravado that he probably really had to work at to make happen and then admitted that he was having a hard time sleeping through the night without having absolute fear wake him up. It was at that point that I handed him my card, told him I was a Coach and that I could help him navigate these waters if he wanted my help.  But really any of us can help ourselves and each other through times like this if we’re willing to give a listening ear and some direct eye contact.  Doesn’t take a whole lot to help someone feel that they’re not alone.

The way I look at it the big box bookstores, although I love most anything that has to do with books, downsizing and going away do to the e-Book phenom, is really just morphing into something new that we can get into and behind if we are open to it. A few weeks ago I asked a question on LinkedIn “What are three traits you look for in new employees” and one consistent trait that was listed in many of the responses was “adaptability”.  I don’t know why that particular trait caught me by surprise, but it did.  After some conversations though, I realized how important adaptability is when it comes to our ever changing work force in these times.  It means being flexible enough to let go of what we are used to so that we can receive something new. And more than that, the ability to find ways to make yourself fit into a new situation rather than trying to force a new situation to fit you.

It helps me to become very biological at times like these.  Remembering the single cell and the splitting of the cell and the splitting of those cells etc.  Not much would have become of that first single cell if it hadn’t learned how to split off and “become”.  When I look to nature for my answers I can also find tools to soothe me during the time of “becoming”  and remember that genetically there are centuries of information inside each cell of my body, mind, and heart that are specifically adapted to help me to adapt. Just little ole amoeba me!

I’m going to focus on survival of the fittest and believe in what is possible. How about you?

Again.  Here’s a top ten list of tips and tools I’ve picked up along the way through my own experience as well as clients and friends. If you’re like me, you can’t hear this “stuff” enough.  Here goes:

1.) If you’ve sent your resume out and haven’t gotten many bites, find trusted friends and/or associates who you can send your resume to and get some open-minded, supportive feedback about how it hits them.  Would they want to interview this person (if it wasn’t you) from just looking at the resume? If not, why not. If so, who else that does what they do would want you?!

2.) No matter how many times you look at your resume with a critical eye, it’s still not enough times.  More than looking at your resume, ask yourself questions about what you’re trying to communicate and if that comes across for specific jobs that you are applying. Learn to view your resume with an objective mind.  Committee in the head not invited.

3.) More often today when applying for a job, you will be asked to fill out a job application and then you may or may not be requested to attach your resume.  Because of filing out an application, I got an interview for a consulting job; however am negotiating the initial rate offered.  Part of that process is to submit my resume and show where I have the specific experience required for the pay grade I want.  I do have that experience but in looking over my resume again, there was not one mention of the skills and experience anywhere!

4.) Do the reconnaissance about the company/NP/job/position to which you are applying. Who do you know who works there, knows someone who works there, etc.  What is the environment like?  What is the character of the people?  What is their focus (both said and unsaid).  Then you can tailor your resume/application towards this as well as prepare for the interview.

5.) Schedule some time with a friend over coffee and have them ask you about your work experience and the most recent jobs you’ve held.  Record the conversation, with their permission of course, if possible or take notes,  You may be surprised at how much you remember within an easy conversation that you can then put on your resume, applications and use in interviews.

6.) Be polite, have good phone etiquette, manners will go along way in distinguishing you from the pack both on the phone and in-person.

7.) Be curious about the person interviewing you as well as about the job and the company.  One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made during the interview when asked if I had any questions was saying that I had none.  There are always questions to ask.  Find them.

8.) Clean-up.  May sound like common sense but you’d be amazed at how some people show up for an interview.  Always ask before the interview what the dress code is for the company.  Find out what “business casual” means to them.  Have a clean hair and body. Brush your teeth.  Seriously, I’ve interviewed people who made well into the six figures who did not seem to care about how they showed up. It was a real deal breaker too.

9.) Be that person who you want to be.  And what I mean by that is if you’re not a confident person find out ways to boost your confidence before you go in for an interview and “be” that confident self. Fake it until you make it.  You might be surprised at how believable you can be.

10.) Trust the process.  Always.  If you are hired for a job that you really want, super. Congratulations! And if not, then you just may have dodged a bullet that you didn’t even know was heading your way.  Dust yourself off and get at it again. All it take is one yes.  No matter what don’t give up, don’t give up no matter what.

Welcome to the world. Not even the real world, just the world that at least most of us live in where we have go to a job, usually five days a week, and put in an agreed amount of hours.  To land that kind of a job/career there are certain steps we go through with the first one being — looking for a job!

This week I posted a question on LinkedIn asking if in three sentences or less, could you concisely and accurately tell the world what your ideal job/career would be? Several people answered with general responses of what they would desire in a position but not with specifics although I have to say one person answered what she does with numbers for a company in such a beautifully creative way that I really hope she uses her three sentences as a tag line at the top of her resume when applying for jobs. I know her resume will move to the top of several lists because of it.

What I’m witnessing with other people and experiencing myself out on the streets is that many of us are so shell-shocked with fear of never landing any job that we’re all blindly scrambling around submitting our resume if the job posting has even the scent of a word within it’s description that could be a match for us (you know, like how you make a perfect martini is to wave a Vermouth bottle over the vodka….).  I was looking through some postings on LI and found one for a Facilitator and upon reading through the job description found they were looking for someone with Agile Software experience. So that position would eliminate quite a few of us out here who although may be qualified to be a great facilitator, certainly don’t have Agile Software experience.  Have the respect and with-it-ness to read through the postings you’re submitting your resume for, especially if you’re submitting to the same company.  Trust me. Even though they may receive hundreds of resumes a day, if you continually submit your resume to all kinds of positions no matter if you are qualified or not, your name will be recognized and remembered and you will not be taken seriously.

Earlier this week I met with a friend who I have a ton of respect for because she has all parts of her brain working, not just the left or right side.  Such a smart gal. Anyway, back in the hay day of a global corporation where she worked for years, she was a senior vp/business partner and has the kind of experience and knowledge that I know many CEOs and Senior Vice Presidents would so value having within their inner.  Yet, does she do the reconnaissance to find out what companies are out there she would be interested in working  today? Maybe. But she submits her resume through the usual channels.  I would imagine that most of the people at the level of screening resumes and/or even hiring might not have the sense or the power to see that my friend could be a very valuable part of their organization and should be considered.  At her level of experience, it is my opinion that she would be best served to look through her great network of friends and business acquaintances (including her boyfriends) to find out who knows who until she discovers a way to meet with the CEOs and/or decision makers of companies she’s interested in working with these days.  I know it’s a conundrum that on the one-hand for many of us with lot’s of great experience are finding ourselves treading the waters of bureaucracy just to get ourselves considered for a job but on the other-hand I have seen life-altering decisions made in a matter of minutes by someone who had the clout to make it happen.

For wishful thinkers, this is something we have to watch out for because although it can happen very quickly, it does not mean that leading up to the meeting, discussion, and finally the consideration was effortless. Think of yourself as Mr. or Mrs. Bond doing the stealth research necessary behind the scenes so that when you finally get in front of the decision-makers they know that you are definitely someone they need on their team.

This is your mission should you choose to take it.  Good luck.

If you’ve been living in the past couple of decades then, more than likely, just like me, you’ve experienced the over all cultural phenomena of heightened fear in many aspects of your life with a big impact hitting your job or career.

On Friday, June 29, 2012 at 12:30pm CST I’ll be interviewing a highly regarded writer, speaker and management consultant, Judith M. Bardwick, Ph.D. on BTR’ Hope42Day.  In her book and subsequent talks and info-sessions, Judy shares about the psychological recession behind the changing work force (especially in the U.S.).

Here’s an excerpt about  fear from the book, “The prolonged, sustained fear that is characteristic of a Psychological Recession assures that good news will be discounted while bad news is accepted as the stuff of reality. The tragedy is that focusing on fears only reinforces them.  In understandable but irrational ways, people who are frightened move ever forward toward panic. In this way, a Psychological Recession is self-fulfilling.”

This got me to thinking about my days in the world of recruiting technical experts for long-term contracts.  In the late 90’s as we headed toward Y2K (for those of you who live under rocks, this was when the techno world was mainly run by mainframes and the uproar was all about the dates not being programmed to be able to turn over to 20 from 19 (1999 to 2000) we were flying high.  There was so much work to be done that we could not find people fast enough. Then there was a brief respite with client-server technology (remember that?) being the latest and greatest movement since the mainframe and like a creeping tidal wave, the internet took off and the rest as we know it is history.  There was a lot of fear in those days because the work world was being turned ass over tea kettle from brick and mortar to dot.com.  The psychology of how historically held institutions turned over the usual way of doing business to the new way—because of the impact of technology — from banking to real estate undergoing changes in fascinating (and frightening) ways.

I believe what allowed so much change to happen so quickly was FEAR.  Many people feared all the new technology taking place because they did not understand it. Then all that new technology coupled with the bright young minds stepping  up to leadership posts that would have taken years for previous generations to hold, had many reacting out of sheer fear.

Here we are a handful of years down the road from the great American recession and many countries undergoing their own radical changes (because, yeah, like they say, we are all connected!) and lot’s of people are scared, scared, scared.  The good news is that if you don’t want to be one of the mass who is steeping themselves in fear, anger, and dark perspectives of what life is all about….this is a most excellent time to put on that wet suit of confidence, trust and an open mind so that you can surf this huge wave of fear (maybe even have a whole lot of fun while you’re doing it) and come out on the other side to lead us to another way of doing and looking at how we do business (and live in the world).  I think that is how great leaders are created.  I think there is a whole lot of opportunity for smart people who understand humans and the psychology of business.

How will you see the world today?

A small business owner client is in the process of turning his family-owned business around into the black.  Way black, making a good profit. As you can imagine, he has many, many goals and tasks that he must (wants to) accomplish each day.  In the three months that I’ve been working with him, he’s made an excellent start.

As a Coach, I know that assisting someone in setting achievable and attainable goals is key.  If the client doesn’t meet his/her goal continuously, likely as not they’ll probably give up somewhere in the process.  But herein lays the brush because what I might consider an achievable and attainable goal, you might think is very unrealistic.   Right in here in the nitty gritty is where we each have to get as honest with ourselves as we possibly can.  We also have to know ourselves pretty well.  We have to know things like what we’re capable of doing, where the end of our rope is, can we handle burning the candle at both ends and if we can, how long before we crater?  What has worked for us in the past?  Where have we gotten in our own way? Not to mention knowing our values, standards and needs!

I was fascinated to learn that this client has figured out a structure and process for knocking out great proposals that attract new clients and business to an art form.  Many businesses have failed because of sending out weak proposals in an untimely manner.  We were able to look at this aspect of his business and find a way to apply it one of his goals which continually nags at him which marketing for new business.

Instead of the marketing being done in one fell swoop like a proposal, it needs to be divided into chunks that can be done and delivered, monthly, weekly and daily.   For most business owners, especially small business owners, the marketing for new business tends to go way down the list of what they get done even though they know it needs to get done.  I  got an inkling during our session that for my client, it was a matter of instilling the same level of respect to his marketing process as he puts into his proposal process.

Because I’m a runner, I can so relate to being able to accomplish a huge goal in one fell swoop because I can see where it begins and ends, such as running up a big hill. And I also know that paying attention to my body while I’m running, making sure I stay hydrated, paying attention to my gate, if I’m slapping the pavement with my feet and how I am breathing can be tedious because I’m doing it all the time and won’t have an end to it till I reach the finish line but all those things are equally as important to my completing the run without injury as making it up a steep hill.

If you have a handful of goals and all of them feel like they are at the same level of importance, practice giving yourself some perspective so that you can see each of your goals for what they are and how they can best be accomplished.  Some goals will be a chunk of time when they come up, such as delivering a proposal to an interested customer. Others will need an on-going series of actions but remember that it doesn’t mean that your whole life has to be turned over to that one goal. Instead, think of it as spreading out the big-one-time-goal into bite-sized pieces that can be accomplished a bite at a time.  Even if it turns out that you’re applying only 30 minutes a day to that goal, if you are focused with your intention that half an hour can be worth its weight in gold. And hey, it’s sure better than spending no time on it!

We have the power with our own mind and spirit to accomplish many things that many people would deem impossible!

If you’re like me,  even setting goals can be difficult. I mean, I knew that I had a bit of an issue with commitment but there have been so many things in which I’ve committed to well such as having a good marriage for 20 years, staying sober for 22, etc. so I thought I was done with that ole commitment phobia.  But I realize that is exactly what is going on with me in regards to compiling, editing, re-writing and revising my book.  I need to create a structure for my work replete with days, times and the task for accomplishing my work.

Just like one of my “gem” clients has shared through his process of turning around a family business and getting it back to gold, there is specific work that has to be done for a finite period of time that will require extra effort, time and panache for him to meet and exceed his goal in getting his company up to a place that will enable him to hire talent who can take some of the load off.  It can be hard to set goals and see them through to success when the “seeing through” process may be uncomfortable and require extra effort on top of hard work…but it can be done.  I know that in the past what has helped me set goals and see them through has been to divvy a big  goal up into portions so that I can see improvement, accomplishment and the horizon, one step at a time.

How about you? What goals do you need to set and commit to seeing through today?

From all the wisdom and words that I’ve put together over the years regarding opportunity, there are a couple of aspects that speak the most loudly to me:

1.) You have to be able to recognize an opportunity when it knocks.  Sounds like common sense, doesn’t it?  But there are times when a hidden belief system gets in the way (such as: X person became famous singing because they were lucky–insert person, place and ability to fit your life).  I believe that most of the time what can be confused as luck is really when a person recognizes and seizes an opportunity.

2.) Allowing yourself to strike when the opportunity is present, alive and available.  In other words, going for “it” and putting all your experiences, talents and wisdom to work.  Hesitation can be the wind that shuts the door.

How do you know when opportunity is knocking for you?  Look honestly through your past to find glints of opportunity in your reflection.  Did you act or did you hesitate?  How will you respond the next time that opportunity knocks for you?

Geeze Louise, I so didn’t want to end up being “one of those kind of people” who get complacent and in the groove of their comfort zone and don’t want to get out of it.  And not a healthy kind of comfort zone either, kind of like a rolling around in the caca comfort zone because it feels cool on my skin but putting up with all the grody stuff that comes along with it because I’d rather do that then, well, stick my neck out there.

And I can make rolling around in this stuff look really good too because there is so much that I’m willing to do in my complacency that others aren’t willing to do.

But I know what I’m doing (or not doing as it were).

Upon further reading in the book “Bounce” by Matthew Syed, I’ve learned that becoming a glorious expert at something is not about doing something for ten thousand hours but rather being very focused and putting concentrated effort into something for 10,000 hours. In fact, it’s about stretching way out of your comfort zone, such as if you are practicing your golf swing to hit the balls out of the sand and be willing to have sand flying in your face to really perfect your swing.

I have realized that I’ve been really grooving along in my coaching business for the past few years not really putting my neck out there like some of my successful coaching friends do by speaking in front of lot’s of groups or offering retreats or just inviting people to a free coaching session so that they experience coaching with me to see if it is for them or not.  So, now I’m putting myself out there.  I’ve been contacting all kinds of people and places to speak and empower as well as offering a “Writing Down Your Soul Retreat” for women, this July 20-22, 2012.

Are you in your comfort zone?  Is it working for you? If not, why not?  If you were to stretch and be willing to get a little bit uncomfortable…what would you do?

A few days ago a good friend , who happens to be one of the nation’s top digital publicists, sent me a query from HARO (Help Out A Reporter) which was for a PBS show focused around great baby boomer online communities.  They specifically wanted to hear about those online communities that aren’t being shouted about off of the rooftops like some of the bigger and well-known SNS.

Of course I broke the rule immediately by giving a shout out about LinkedIn even though it is one of “those” bigger sites that is well-known. But I did it because although most people in the business world at least know about it and I hear a lot of people talking about signing up or saying they’re signing up because they know it’s a good site to hooked up with not many (in my opinion) are really taking advantage of diving into the community of LinkedIn.

I began using LinkedIn in 2006 upon the suggestion of said good friend when I left a steady paying job of ten years as an associate partner at a technical recruiting agency to provide my services as a Life Coach full time. I knew just enough about technology and communities to be dangerous (which means not enough to understand how to really engage myself and others in the virtual world). I must admit that for a good year or so I pretty much was a ghost presence on LinkedIn. In other words, I could tell people that “oh I’m on Linkedin” but that was pretty much it until another good friend asked me if I had ever explored their Question and Answers feature? He encouraged me to dive in and read some of the topics til I found one (or some) that interested me and then jump into the conversation.

I was coming from a background of seeing how prima donna developers would flame someone out on a board or in a chat room so I was very hesitant to just jump in to LI. Overtime though I couldn’t help myself. What started developing was a give and take, a back and forth between me and many people from all over the world. I’ve always considered myself “highly sensitive” but it wasn’t until I “felt” my first energy exchange using LinkedIn that I realized really getting involved in a community so that you got to know people and they got to know you could be very special indeed. In fact, I’m writing a book about this called “energy surfing” which I hope will make you curious about instead of wary. I’ve made many friends over the years in LI and have over 500 contacts though I have tried to be very careful about who I “accept” as my friend. Just as we can experience friendships at different levels in the “real” world, you can experience that in LI as well with the added bonus that without the interference of our physical bodies and the distractions that all that entails it is almost as if we’ve been giving a safe harbor (as LI is monitored) for our souls to play and work.

Sounds a little wacky I know, but I’ve saved some of the dialogues between me and others on LI to give examples in my book (once I’ve obtained their permission of course) of what I’m talking about. I think that I “felt” will be evidenced in the discourse but only time will tell upon others reading it. Anyway, LI isn’t just for businesses and there happens to be a lot of baby boomers out there in the world working harder then ever. What I love about this community is that it offers an intergenerational plus multi-cultural exchange so it’s not just one age group or one race or one religion or one type of people, it’s a diverse smorgasboard.

So if you’ve been sitting on the sidelines just touching your toes to the water there’s no time like the presence to jump in.  Go sign up for a free account first to check it out and then when you’re ready, check out the Questions and Answers section and explore what groups you’d like to join.    January is just beginning, what are you going to do differently this year?

It took listening to coverage on NPR about Kurt Cobain (inspired the Grunge movement, died as a rising star back in 1994) for me to finally consider getting really intentional about my work (coaching, writing, web radio interviewing).  I mean, don’t get me wrong, when I was working in an 9-6 job going 90 to nothing recruiting people from all over the world and attracting new clients I had “to do lists” all over the place. And I did quite well. And made good dinero too!  I realize now, that I was using my “to do lists” also as my intentions list.

So back to Kurt. In the story, they talked about how successful Kurt was and, of course, how he wrestled with his fame as well. One of the practices that Kurt did everyday was to write down what he intended to do with his songs and music. And he was very specific about it.  I don’t know, maybe it’s the rebellious spirit in me (smells like teen spirit) but for some reason just knowing that Kurt wrote down his intentions/goals and was specific about them (and very successful, did I say that? very successful) was enough for me to begin writing down my intentions/goals again and getting really specific. I figure if Kurt could do it, I sure can too.

Although I’m very connected on social networking sites and I use my Android all the time, for me, there is nothing better than writing down my days intentions on a yellow legal pad. And the ink has to be blue.  I put dashes out to the side of each intention and check them off as I get them done. I also label the top of each page “TO DO” and date it.  What I don’t get done, I transfer to the next day and re-prioritize.  As I’m doing my day if an idea pops into my head for something that I want to get done, I write it down on my list.  If there are phone numbers/emails/addresses to go with it, I put that down too. Yes, I know it would be much more efficient to use a program in my phone but for some reason I really prefer writing it out.

Maybe writing out my goals enacts a chemical release in my brain much like crying tears releases chemicals too. Who knows? I just know writing down what I want to do and accomplish helps me to get things done.

How about you?  What intentions can you be specific about and write down/type up?