This morning I had the amazing opportunity to meet with Author, Anna Rosenburg.  We met through a mutual friend, Katherine Moore Cooper (who interviewed Anna for her autobiography), while Anna is on tour here from “across the pond” for her book, “Who Am I Really?“.   Anna’s story is compelling.  Here is a brief description from the back of her book:

Until she was seven years old, Ann Rosenburg was happy. She live a simple life in a two-room flat with her devoted father. In Anna’s world, there was very little to worry about – until a wealthy, high-minded pillar of society’s across the road decided that it really wasn’t right for a little girl to be brought up by a poor father on his own.  Telling Anna that they were going to drive in the country, she took her away to live in a children’s home.

The devastation of this betrayal and the loss of regular contact with her father destroyed Anna’s young world. Her unhappiness was compounded by her confusion over her own identity.  What did her black skin mean? Why wasn’t it the same colour as her father’s? Where did she come from? Who was she really?

As you can imagine, Anna and I had much to talk about over two cups of coffee!   I’ll be interviewing Anna on Hope42Day, next Wednesday, December 5 at 4:30pm CST,  please do join us if not for the “live” show, then for the downloadable podcast.  I know I’ve often asked myself “who am I really?” and I certainly did not have as confusing an difficult a childhood as Anna.

Before meeting Anna, I had not read her book nor knew that she was bi-racial but I knew she would be special because of my respect for Katherine Moore Cooper and another mutual friend, Nettie Reynolds, who first told me about Anna and thought she might be just the sort of person I would enjoy interviewing on my show.  Without any knowledge of Anna’s life story nor that she was bi-racial, one of my first questions to her was if she had received (extreme) prejudice growing up with dark skin in England and what that was like for her.  I soon learned how ignorant I was about the black experience in England.   I’ve black friends in the United States from all kinds of socio and economic vectors and have heard their story, but was humbled to learn how difficult it was for Anna and black and brown-skinned people to grow up in that Anglo society.

Seems I have been reminded once again how important it is for us–you and me—to have as many conversations as we can with all kinds of people so that we can become aware of the blinders we walk around with in our lives, often times without any idea that we do.

Join us next Wednesday for what promises to be a moving interview.

One of my favorite sayings is by the Lakota Sioux which is an acknowledgement of the Universal relations, “mitakuye oyas’in” which means in all my relations.

It’s important for us (me) to remember that we are all in relationship with each other.  Not just those heart throbbing, vein pulsating, middle of the night awakening relationships.  And perhaps therein lays some of the clues we can use to help us in attracting and building those relationships that are of our heart’s desires.  We can pay attention to all of our relationships from our family to our friends to our co-workers to even the person on the other side of the counter who takes in our dry cleaning.  And, of course, paying attention to the most important relationship of all … the one we have within ourselves.  I don’t know about you, but I’m very glad that most people can’t read the thoughts in my head that I sometimes allow to take up space in my brain.

I was recently a guest on the ever popular Psychic Tee show.  When Tee opened up the lines for questions, so many people wanted to know  about their relationships and future relationships.  In my humble (or not so humble opinion) all questions lead back to self.  Who you are is who you are going to attract.  You will keep attracting that person or those people in your life until you’ve gotten the lesson that you’ve agreed to in your lesson plan for this life.  Only until we are ready to let go of creating huge dust clouds of illusions to cover up what we are unwilling to accept, will we be able to receive what the Universe truly does want to bring for our heart’s desire. 

How we experience our life may seem like we have no choice but to be distracted by the huge waves of high and low emotions but really it is just because the highs and lows are what we have allowed our life to be.  We don’t have to ebb and flow like that. It is a choice.  This afternoon I was listening to a radio station on Pandora that I’ve somehow programmed into my phone and can’t change. Uggh. It was interesting because most of the songs that were played were these heart wrenching relationship songs that I so do not have an interest in these days. But oh there would have been a time in my past when I would have totally loved wallowing in the misery that those kind of songs would have conjured for me.  Bring it on baby! Let the crying begin!  Thank g-d I am at a place in my life where so many other things catch my interest other than what drama I can fan to flames.

You can to if you make the conscious choice as well. Within all your relations.  Try it, you just might be surprised what you can create.

Recently one of my favorite “Psychic Counselors”, Paxton Robey, posted the following thought:

Which is all about non-action that the core of my values holds so true and yet lo these many years after first hearing this concept, I still seem to forget. In other words, I cannot be reminded too many times that the best thing that I can do is not to think and obsess but to breathe and believe.

Enter in the walking paradox that I am.  Last night we watched the 60-minutes episode interviewing Craig Keilburger, who at age 12 set out to change the world and by gum, here it is 17 years later and his mission, “Children Helping Children”  has over 2 million volunteers.  And my mind says, “so what would have happened if Craig had just breathed and let things fall into place?”

My higher self reminds me that although as a human being on this planet now, I experience life in dualities as either or, right or wrong, good or bad, etc. that actually there are usually more than three options (think about the string theory concept). Furthermore, from the interview it did not seem like Craig had gotten lost in obsession but rather had stepped into the flow of something bigger than himself and stepped out in faith.  Somehow, perhaps Craig was able to let go and breathe, have faith and step into action which may be one of the reasons so many kids have been attracted to his non-profit.  They sensed that something bigger than Craig or themselves was at the helm.  Hmmmm. How many times have we heard about keeping a child-like attitude about the world?

Somewhere recently (and I have no idea where I read this or I would acknowledge them), I read that there is an actual physical phenomena for most people when we study math. Especially if the math is the harder more theoretical kind such as Algebra, Calculus, and on.  Evidently, learning new intricate math concepts can be painful for our brains and is often experienced as headaches.  Now studying intricate math concepts is a great thing to do. Personally, I believe EVERYTHING can be explained mathematically; however, I have never been very good at higher math.  But I wonder if it would be helpful for us to remember which side of our brain is hurting and what that feels like so that when we are obsessing and thinking about something (or someone) ad nauseum we can remember that we’re not solving an intricate math theorem.  We are trying to take control of a situation that we do not have control over and the best course of action is to let go and breathe.

Remember when you were a child finding something that could grab your attention for hours?   That is what being in the flow feels like.  Very simple, but not easy to practice in our complex world.

I bet what I’m trying to say here could be written into a mathematical equation, that when resolved would make you feel very relieved…..but unless your a math whiz, I’ll tell you the shortcut to the results:  Let go and breathe. And then follow your breath.

One of the most humbling moments for me while practicing yoga was during a workshop taught by the celebrated Rodney Yee.  All the best yoga teachers in Austin were at this workshop along with who we called “the beautiful people” who frequented our yoga class. We called them the beautiful people because truly, whether male or female, they were a site to behold.  The yoga was flowing beautifully and I felt confident and comfortable with the vinyasas as well as holding some of the poses for more than a few breaths until we were asked to go into the dreaded hand stand. Because I could not (would not) hop up into the hand stand even with two helpers, Rodney stopped the entire room and walked over to help me pop up into the hand stand (which I did, of course).

For weeks, my teacher, Murti Hower, had been working with me on dropping my ego and just looking down at what was right in front of me….my thumbs….so I could swing my legs up behind me into a hand stand.  I’d do well for the few seconds my body moved without my brain until I’d slip into the fear that my arms could not hold up my weight (which is actually an incorrect fear because a hand stand done properly uses the mula bhanda muscles way inside your stomach) and down I would go instead of looking at what was in front of me and dropping my ego.

I was reminded of the “Yee handstand incident” over coffee with a good friend recently who was feeling quite overwhelmed by the situation she had found herself in recently with having to make some hard decisions over her aging and ailing parents. It seemed my very competent professional friend was being put into a leadership spot of having to make some hard decisions for her parents, sibling and family and it all was feeling too much for her.  After awhile of talking it through, she realized that the actual actions that she needed to do at any given time was not what was overwhelming her but rather all the myriad of decisions in the future that were circling in her head.  Ah! The future!   When she just thought about what was in front of her, her parental situation became much more manageable.  We were also able to cull out the tools she has that she can use now to create a plan for doing what was in front of her.   In a moment of inspiration, I realized that this very gifted architect has to sketch out plans for every new building they create or renovate, why not sketch out a plan for her parents?   Luckily, she understood and grabbed on to this inspiration and this BIG HUGE UNMANAGEABLE time in her life became something she could apply all her experience and skills that come so naturally to her to help her devise a plan for the future.

Whether it’s popping up into a handstand or creating a blueprint so that you can see what you’re dealing with what it really all comes down to is seeing and taking action on what’s in front of you. Oh and remembering to breathe into it. Ahh yes, the breath.  Just one breath at a time.

Take a breath between the merries this holiday season, it’ll be easier to see what’s in front of you.

The tough, the meek, and the rest of us get going!   Learned over coffee with a good friend this morning that the Barnes & Nobles right next door to where we were sitting was closing it’s doors sometime at the end of December.  As a customer, I knew that I wanted to purchase some of the great calendars and cards that would be on sale (40% off) but as a Coach, I wanted to connect with at least one of the B&N employees who would be faced with looking for a new place of employment in the New Year to give them some hope.

You have to know that the kind of person who works at a bookstore is usually someone who is smart, has an offbeat sense of humor and not especially extroverted in most cases.  The two employees I spoke with fit this description to a “T” along with an authenticity and sincerity that is nice to find in any person much less a bookstore employee. After asking one of the guys how he was holding up upon learning just last week that their store was closing, he gave the usual “hail fellow” speech with a bravado that he probably really had to work at to make happen and then admitted that he was having a hard time sleeping through the night without having absolute fear wake him up. It was at that point that I handed him my card, told him I was a Coach and that I could help him navigate these waters if he wanted my help.  But really any of us can help ourselves and each other through times like this if we’re willing to give a listening ear and some direct eye contact.  Doesn’t take a whole lot to help someone feel that they’re not alone.

The way I look at it the big box bookstores, although I love most anything that has to do with books, downsizing and going away do to the e-Book phenom, is really just morphing into something new that we can get into and behind if we are open to it. A few weeks ago I asked a question on LinkedIn “What are three traits you look for in new employees” and one consistent trait that was listed in many of the responses was “adaptability”.  I don’t know why that particular trait caught me by surprise, but it did.  After some conversations though, I realized how important adaptability is when it comes to our ever changing work force in these times.  It means being flexible enough to let go of what we are used to so that we can receive something new. And more than that, the ability to find ways to make yourself fit into a new situation rather than trying to force a new situation to fit you.

It helps me to become very biological at times like these.  Remembering the single cell and the splitting of the cell and the splitting of those cells etc.  Not much would have become of that first single cell if it hadn’t learned how to split off and “become”.  When I look to nature for my answers I can also find tools to soothe me during the time of “becoming”  and remember that genetically there are centuries of information inside each cell of my body, mind, and heart that are specifically adapted to help me to adapt. Just little ole amoeba me!

I’m going to focus on survival of the fittest and believe in what is possible. How about you?

And so begins another 365 days of continuous, hopefully interesting, posts.  What is their focus? You. Me. Us.  The World.  All requests considered!

Right now, I’m listening to my husband talking with some coworkers who are from Guadalajara, Mexico  on the speaker phone. His com padre’s voice is making me think of a friend of mine, who is also from Mexico, who I haven’t spoken with in over a year (shout out to Omar!).  The group call working out the ins and outs of a website they’re all working on is so peaceful and kind.  Not a usual sound when people are discussing work situations; especially technical work situations. It’d be nice if most people worked together this well.

Tonight, many Americans (United Statesians) are getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving.  Geeze the preparation for the typical Anglo-Saxon Judea-Christian Holidays have been really brutal over the last five years or so.  It’s been hard for many of us not to look at the spin on celebrations with a jaundiced eye.  Thankfully, many of us are coming around to figuring out where everything falls within, around and in-between our inner value system.

I was reflecting on all of this while washing the dishes this morning and remembering how keyed-up and anxious I would get when going to visit family.  On the one hand, I was really looking forward to seeing everyone because most of us lived in completely different States, much less Cities, from each other and only saw each other once a year (if that).  But on  the other hand, I had so many goblins from my past who would not stay in their closets during the holidays with family. All wanted to come out and have their place at the table.  As you can imagine, with some of the other family members having their own crew of goblins too, the table became pretty crowded.

Today, I’ve settled in to my own kind of rhythm.  This time of year I look forward to because they’re usually are a lot more people focused on gratitude then any other time of year so it helps me stay focused on it too.   I listen to the comedy channel a lot.  This afternoon they played George Carlin’s bit about “stuff“.  It’s funny and George always did hit the nail on the head.  For those of us who may be getting our nerves all riled thinking about the non-important things (like stuff and more stuff that we can buy) this holiday season, it’s a good bit to tuck under your hat.

Happy Thanksgiving y’all and grateful that you’re out there!