Enough of this “if I only knew then what I knew now….”  all I know for sure is that I have right now this minute to act on and be in.  Well, and of course when that physics thing happens where I can be thinking two thoughts about the future, three about the past and one in the present simultaneously.  What I want to celebrate with you today is to list some of the things that I do now, that I didn’t do “back when”.

1.) I’ve been known to hang out in my pajamas well past noon but getting a whole lot of things done working at my desk right beside my husband who seems to love me in spite of no make-up or perfume!

2.) Return to college with fellow classmates many years younger than me.  Couldn’t face returning when I was 5-10 years older then most other students, but sure can do it now.  Acceptance or denial? Whichever it is, it’s working!

3.) Care about what is going on in my friends’ lives but in an interdependent give-them-a-hug kind of way and not the icky obsequious co-dependent way that I used to fall into way back when.

4.) Discover new aspects of my husband that I can enjoy, laugh about, respect every day, week, month and year.  This is a bloody miracle considering in my youth I was addicted to that aspect of relationships known as limerence which meant the very second the blush was off the rose, I was outta there!

5.) Fold my underwear and socks. True story.  I used to keep a really, almost fastidiously, clean home except for my dresser drawers.  It was just too much for me to fold my underthings and so I would stuff them into a drawer which meant that anytime I wanted a new pair of whatever, I had to fight with the drawer and everything in them.  Today I fold everything up neat and in it’s place so that it is so easy to open the drawer and pull what I need out.  It’s a shame though that only I get to see this great accomplishment (and, well, I guess now you know it too!).

6.) I weigh and measure all my food when I eat at home (three squares a day) and eyeball portions when I go out. Don’t eat in-between meals, don’t eat flour and sugar and don’t starve.  You can’t imagine how crazy I used to be about food.  Oy vey.  For instance, I remember one time when I was plowing through a box of Wheat Thins, for some reason I decided to look at what they called a portion size and nearly choked when I read “16 crackers” .  Have you ever seen how small Wheat Thins are? Why, 16 crackers was just the kindling for the fire?!! So glad I don’t have to eat that way ever again, one day at a time.

7.) I try to vary my drive when I leave for home to get out of the rut of doing the same thing.  Gives me a different perspective, helps me to stay focused and not in a day dreaming state while driving.  I don’t know if it’s a good thing or something that I should feel guilty about, but I know all kinds of baristas at various Starbucks all over Austin.

8.) I dance like crazy when a song comes on that I love, no matter who is around.   I’ve always danced a lot, but I was very, very careful to make sure that not too many people spotted me doing so.  Now, eh, why not?!

9.) Instead of feeling embarrassed when I am sometimes spastic in speaking and jumble words or flub sentences or what-have-you, I’ve worked in several sounds and facial expressions to mark it right in the moment which takes the attention away from it and definitely lightens the experience for any witnesses.

10.) I look for ways to make the people around me happy, most of the time.  I mean, hey, I’m human and so sometimes the scarfy side of me jumps out but for the most part I do my best to find ways to make others happy.  Cuz then we can laugh together and I really enjoy laughing.

How about you? What do you do now that you didn’t do then?

It’s crazy the way everybody, everywhere are talking about networking and connecting?!?!?  How many people have you had conversations with who “know” about social networking sites like Facebook or LinkedIn and maybe even signed up with them, but haven’t done anything with them?

It seems to me that the idea of networking and connecting with people has taken a head long jump into the pool of fearing people.  Really all that needs to be remembered by those of us who want to network or connect is what I’m calling “People ology 101”.   Think of that book “All I needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten” and you get the basic premise.

Some basic tips from your friend, Coach Lynn are;

1.) Be curious.  It’s good to be curious (just not in a creepy or overbearing way) about who people are and what they are up to.  Ask basic questions about how they are or what they do for a living and then zip your mouth, give them eye contact and really listen.  Prompt them with affirming sounds of listening (uhuh, oh my!, laughter, etc.) and re-state a few words or sentences they said for clarity if you don’t understand them.

2.) Be polite.  Manners never, ever, ever, never go out of style.  Basic phrases like please and thank you can go a long way.  Thinking of others before yourself.  Simple things like asking if now is a good time to talk with you, if you’re calling to make a request.  Sending snail mail thank you notes!?!? Think about it, what do you receive in your mail these days besides bill and ads? Wouldn’t you love to open up a personal hand written note or card?

3.) Create a file in your brain, on your pc, in your cabinets with some reminders about who you meet and what they do.  If you follow the two tips above, you’ll probably remember who you meet because you’ve learned through the limbic system through conversing, asking questions or thinking about them when you write a note.  All of this can be stored to be used someday.  With Facebook, LinkedIn and other network sites you will also have the opportunity to interact with your fellows and leave a digital trail to refer back to when your memory fails you.

4.) People are just people.  In most cases, we all put our pants on one leg at a time (though I discovered rather later in life that I step into both pant legs and then pull them up…).  Go for the heart is what I say.  In coaching school they encouraged us to be curious and have a sense of wonder.  Sometimes I end up feeling like Mr. Spock (Star Trek)  because then humans become fascinating to me but basically, most people have something interesting to learn or say if you give them the opportunity.

These are just a few tips that I hope will be useful for you to think about and/or use in networking and connecting.  Remember, if we humans didn’t have so much fear about each other our natural state would probably be to jump into a big huge puppy pile (and I’m not talking orgy here) with each other most of the time.  It’s in our basic DNA to make friends now all you have to do is remember….

You can also read this article in a great new website I’m writing for: http://www.divinecaroline.com/22056/122046-peopleology-101

A few days ago a good friend , who happens to be one of the nation’s top digital publicists, sent me a query from HARO (Help Out A Reporter) which was for a PBS show focused around great baby boomer online communities.  They specifically wanted to hear about those online communities that aren’t being shouted about off of the rooftops like some of the bigger and well-known SNS.

Of course I broke the rule immediately by giving a shout out about LinkedIn even though it is one of “those” bigger sites that is well-known. But I did it because although most people in the business world at least know about it and I hear a lot of people talking about signing up or saying they’re signing up because they know it’s a good site to hooked up with not many (in my opinion) are really taking advantage of diving into the community of LinkedIn.

I began using LinkedIn in 2006 upon the suggestion of said good friend when I left a steady paying job of ten years as an associate partner at a technical recruiting agency to provide my services as a Life Coach full time. I knew just enough about technology and communities to be dangerous (which means not enough to understand how to really engage myself and others in the virtual world). I must admit that for a good year or so I pretty much was a ghost presence on LinkedIn. In other words, I could tell people that “oh I’m on Linkedin” but that was pretty much it until another good friend asked me if I had ever explored their Question and Answers feature? He encouraged me to dive in and read some of the topics til I found one (or some) that interested me and then jump into the conversation.

I was coming from a background of seeing how prima donna developers would flame someone out on a board or in a chat room so I was very hesitant to just jump in to LI. Overtime though I couldn’t help myself. What started developing was a give and take, a back and forth between me and many people from all over the world. I’ve always considered myself “highly sensitive” but it wasn’t until I “felt” my first energy exchange using LinkedIn that I realized really getting involved in a community so that you got to know people and they got to know you could be very special indeed. In fact, I’m writing a book about this called “energy surfing” which I hope will make you curious about instead of wary. I’ve made many friends over the years in LI and have over 500 contacts though I have tried to be very careful about who I “accept” as my friend. Just as we can experience friendships at different levels in the “real” world, you can experience that in LI as well with the added bonus that without the interference of our physical bodies and the distractions that all that entails it is almost as if we’ve been giving a safe harbor (as LI is monitored) for our souls to play and work.

Sounds a little wacky I know, but I’ve saved some of the dialogues between me and others on LI to give examples in my book (once I’ve obtained their permission of course) of what I’m talking about. I think that I “felt” will be evidenced in the discourse but only time will tell upon others reading it. Anyway, LI isn’t just for businesses and there happens to be a lot of baby boomers out there in the world working harder then ever. What I love about this community is that it offers an intergenerational plus multi-cultural exchange so it’s not just one age group or one race or one religion or one type of people, it’s a diverse smorgasboard.

So if you’ve been sitting on the sidelines just touching your toes to the water there’s no time like the presence to jump in.  Go sign up for a free account first to check it out and then when you’re ready, check out the Questions and Answers section and explore what groups you’d like to join.    January is just beginning, what are you going to do differently this year?

One of my intentions this year is to explore and learn as much as I can about various Native American and indigenous cultures ways of living in harmony with Mother Nature.  When I say Mother Nature, I mean all the animals, plants, waters, trees, weather etc. including we humans.  Pretty much everything that is outside of the realm of artificial structures including time.

Take how we have decided to divide up our “year” and have designated January 1 as the start of a New Year.  Well, in the business world we use that point to wrap up projects when we can and roll out new strategies.  Have you ever felt out of sync with the whole “ring out the old and ring in the new”? Have you ever felt disappointed in yourself after making your resolutions for the New Year only to find that you have abandoned them after just a few month’s time (or weeks or days in some cases!)?

I don’t know about you, but I believe that being in sync with the rhythm of the Earth means that you/we/I have an understanding of what is going on around me in terms of temperature, weather, the ground, the sky, the collective of beings that I share this planet with and that I have respect for everything and everyone’s place in the world.  Only then will we “know” what our best action needs to be.

This summer many of us in Texas suffered from the effects of a severe drought from depleting waters, ruined crops, ravaged farms and fires.  I don’t know if there is anything we could have done to have prevented everything that happened as a result of the lack of rain and extreme temperatures but perhaps we could have garnered a clue or two by watching the animals and paying attention to the terrain.  I spent many a morning sitting in the porch swing watching the glinting rays of a new dawn coming forth listening to the many conversations of the animals and insects that live around my property wondering about the information they were trading back and forth.  I’m sure the hot topic of their conversation had to be about survival even with the occasional joyous burst of song from the Red Headed Woodpecker as he circled the trunk of the Cottonwood tree.

There are many teachers of the Earth out there for us to learn from when we are willing to stop and pay attention.  Three of my best teachers are laying on the floor surrounding my chair right now, all three dogs are as close to my husband and I as they can be without leaping into our laps because of the intermittent big booms of the fireworks ringing in the New Year.  I know how they feel!  I’m pretty sure that if we had a King sized bed instead of a Queen that all three would be joining us in sleep tonight too….

Find your own inner rhythm then get in sync with Mother Earth.  May your walk ways be clear and your breath be in harmony.