One of my favorite cartoons that kind of hurts because it reminds me of me so much is the one that Gary Larson did awhile ago entitled “Midvale School for The Gifted”:

why I’m a Midvale Alumni

I so felt like a Midvale Alumni this afternoon when I walked into my “Creating Spaces” class and looked at all the fine representations of each class mate’s project analysis and realized with horror that I had totally misunderstood and did not print out photos of each example to then affix to 4X6 foam core and then affix to the large foam core template. Nor had I put the captions on foam core in the right dimensions. Well, actually, I had initially but they looked funny (because i hadn’t printed out the photos) and so I made them bigger and…and…and…well, suffice it to say that I felt embarrassed and very teary but went to meet with the Department Admin to get some perspective and then met with the Prof.  After some very uncomfortable conversations, I think everything is going to work out okay.  I realized that although the feelings of despair over my misunderstanding of yet another set of instructions felt very familiar, that I now have “tools” in which to work things out that I did not have when I was 18-21 and making a stab at school.

Today I know that my sometimes misfiring synapses do not represent the whole core of who I am.  I also know that there are some instances where I may be able to do a re-do of what I did incorrectly.  I know that sometimes in “real” life that isn’t possible or probable but the trick is to learn when and where I am (maybe you are) vulnerable to misunderstanding so that we can hopefully prevent our own demise.

It’s weird to because this week I had realized that I wanted to offer the kind of coaching that I always wanted to do but was to insecure to attempt full-on and that is laser coaching. Laser coaching is what I remember the Father of Coaching, Thomas Leonard, talking about a lot before he passed.  It’s very intensive focused coaching so for instance, I’m offering 15 minutes of laser coaching for a specific sum.  This kind of coaching is definitely not for everyone but it is for those people who have done a lot of exploring and learning and working on themselves and who are ready to jump right in and get right down to what they are going to do towards their goal. This is not hand-holding coaching. It really is a flying right beside someone who is on fire kind of coaching.

So those two people (and myriads more) live inside of me probably snuggled up together behind to behind  in separate ego sleeping bags–the insecure Midvale Alumni and the confident Higher Self Laser Coach.

I think it is about being able to make enough room inside of you that you can have a variety of feelings and thoughts at the same time and not let anyone of them bowl you over but rather keep moving forward steady as she goes.

How about you?  Do you have polar opposite personae taking up residence inside of you?