Blog #68 Inconceivable!

Posted on : 28-05-2010 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized

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(written previously for my anniversary!)

On May 24, 2010, my husband and I will have been married 18 years (and celebrating 20 years of togetherness in October!). To the Lynn of a few decades ago, being part of a successful relationship for this length of time is, well, “inconceivable”!

One of my favorite movies is “The Princess Bride” and one of my favorite characters of the Princess Bride is Vizzini who uses many big words, but not necessarily correctly, like “inconceivable!” ( I share this with you because when I say or think the word inconceivable, I now always hear it through the voice of Vizzini.

I shared in a previous blog about the book that I’ve almost finished reading by therapists/authors/lecturers’ Charlie and Linda Bloom called “Secrets of Great Marriages” in preparation for my interview of them ( on Tuesday at 2pm CST. Evidently, they interviewed hundreds of couples from across the U.S. and winnowed the interviews down to a handful to share in their book. I think all of them have been married for at least 30 years. Anyway, it’s been thought provoking for me to read these couples’ stories and see where my husband and I are similar yet different.

I particularly enjoyed reading about one “power” couple who were/are both considered beautiful/handsome, powerful/successful and never lacking for attention. Well, when they found each other–they knew that each of them was “the one” for the other. One of the little “scenes” from their courtship they shared was on one of their first dates when they went to an art museum and the woman suggested to the man that they “act” out the paintings, which they proceeded to do all throughout the museum.

Welllllll, David and I do stuff like that to (I know that’s really hard for some of you to fathom!). We are fond of telling other couples (okay! Pretty much anyone who will listen to us!) that our first years of marriage were very tumultuous at best! Neither one of us had been in any kind of a committed relationship like marriage before and both of us are very strong-willed and, sometimes (cough-cough) pig-headed! But one thing we did manage to squeak into our days was spontaneous play….and in the weirdest ways too. Like the time we were driving around doing errands and some really boofy-do kind of jazzy hip hoppy song came on and we started doing the head bobbing thing to the rhythm of it and then I don’t recall which one of us began it, but we started doing this synchronized-devo-esque-movement where we’d bop our heads in the same timing and then instantly turn to the right and continue bobbing, and then look to the left and continue bobbing and the straight ahead, changing our perspective in time to the beat until the song was over. We laughed so hard when it was over because I’m sure that we looked very bizarre to anyone witnessing our choreography at the stop lights.

In this book, there were several themes that seem to run through every couples marriages such as trust and respect. And I would add, at least for us, the ability to play and laugh with each other. I can be one of the hugest dorks on the planet as well my husband, and so I’m grateful that the person that I’ve chosen to be in a committed relationship with is someone that I can be comfortable with being silly….even when there are times when he will do things like spring up out of bed when we’re reading and go do something in the computer and then prance back into the room with his jockey shorts up to his navel and in his best Ed Grimly voice ask me how I like his new look.

May you have many such moments in your relationship where the only correct thing to say about it is “inconceivable”!

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