Repeat after me, “you are never alone” and for my introverted friends who crave time alone, I’m not talking about that kind of — alone — I’m talking about aloneness from a spiritually bankrupt place. You know, when life seems to keep kicking you in the teeth and then drags you through the mud puddles and pounces on you again…and the cycle never seems to end. That kind of alone.

Before blogging today, I read through some of my FB friends’ blogs and realize that there are some out there who have really been caught up in the washing machine of life and seem to be stuck in the spin cycle for a while. I hope you know that this too shall pass. Really. It will, it always does. One of my friends recently posted a question that asked what “normal” was for you these days. I had to stop and ponder that one and when I did, I realized that “normal” is pretty darn nice right about now. Oh sure, I’m driving a ten year old Toyota Celica with 149K on it and I’m in the middle of “becoming” and am not quite sure what I’m going to look like when I emerge which means that I’m feeling trepidation about really stepping out there at my age and at this time to do what I really want to do in terms of a career but I’m pretty sure all of my needs are being met and probably a good percentage of my wants.

I feel very blessed and hugely grateful for having found various and sundry recovery groups for addressing my addictions and the enormous support of the friends that I have made through the years. As a result, I’m certainly not adding fuel to the fire of life by out of control drinking or eating. And I do things for my sanity today that I would have totally scoffed at when I was younger such as not drinking no matter what and not eating flour and sugar. I’ve also learned to take at least 30 minutes of quiet time everyday to connect with my higher power (who I choose to call God) and call/connect with at least three friends by phone each day when possible for quick check in phone calls. I read inspirational literature. I sponsor/mentor others who are on the same path as me because I believe we need to give back what we’ve so generously been given.

And yet, even with all of these things my mind can still almost convince me that I am all alone. As someone who has wrestled with depression and anxiety for years, my mind tries to take me daringly close to the edge of the abyss. Today though that tendency is not quite as strong and I’m more apt to pick up one of the many “tools” that have been given to me to help me steer clear rather rather than become the hostess for an incredible pity party.

Sometimes though it still helps me to know that others are out there who have felt (or feel) the same way as I do and to remember that we really are never alone. That the opportunity for us to reach out and connect with other people is always there for us when we are willing. And the most important piece of this puzzle, for me, is to remember that “the problem in front of me is never as great as the Higher Power behind me”.

Love y’all!