Dive Into the Deep

Posted on : 14-03-2007 | By : Lynn | In : Career Stuff, Heart Talks, Uncategorized


(recently posted at www.lifebeforebusiness.com)

Whenever possible, a group of us love to take scuba diving vacations.  One vivid image burned into my mind is of our friend Vickie who enjoys swimming out past a wall dive at 70-80 feet and hanging out over the deep. With her arms and legs out to her sides in complete trust and abandon, Vickie hangs out in the middle of the deep enjoying the array of blue colors and the blissful feeling of trust and love.  Often times a huge tortoise, or other interesting fish, will swim out of the deep blue that she may have missed if she had stayed close to the wall with the rest of us.More...

This image of Vickie swimming peacefully in the deep blue popped into my head last week after I had a miserable dance with failure.  I do not like failure and will go to great lengths to avoid it, but I realize that failure is part of the business of being human. It is not the failure that defines us, but what we do with it.  I know that when I am willing to dive deep into the middle of whatever I am calling “a failure” and hang out with my feelings and thoughts that the pearl of wisdom will eventually appear. 

Last week I failed when I took a written and practical exam towards getting FCC Certified to become a programmer and qualify to have my own show.  I dismissed the reality of having huge test anxiety and that when I let anxiety take over I cannot remember the question much less the answer.  Then after learning that I failed the written portion, I completely locked up when it came to the practical test of running the board and systems.  Most of the people taking the test had been on the boards for months previous to the actual test, yet I had given myself only two days.  The good news is that in three weeks I can re-take both of these tests.

What I learned from this event after failing spectacularly and diving deep into the middle so that I could find the lessons was:

1.)    Arrogance about my gift of intuition and using the right side of my brain prevented me from slowing down and paying attention when I needed to be methodical, logical and using my atrophying left brain;

2.)    Pride kept me from asking questions from other volunteers during my apprenticeship over the past year to find out how I could get access to the boards and systems to learn them well before the tests;

3.)    The “monsters” of shame still live deep within me when it comes to failing but I have a choice as to whether I let them take the helm or whether I can accept the reality of what is and change what I am able to change.

4.)    All great and successful people in life fail at one time or another and so I’m interviewing the heck out of all the successful people I know to discover how they have used failure to propel them into success.

For me, diving into the deep of failing and being willing to hang out until the pearl of wisdom surfaces seems like an antidote to wallowing in failure.  I want to live within success and I suspect that living within success means being willing to dive into the deep of our failings so that we can learn and transform them into successes.

Dive into the deep, it’s a lovely place to hang out when we can trust the process.


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