One of my greatest strengths is my ability to walk into a room full of people and, at least most of the time, have a good sense of where most of the people are “coming from” so that I can act in away that allows the people that I meet to feel comfortable and safe.  This ability is also a double-edged sword because I can slip deeply into a vague way of communicating without being aware of it.  In other words, I water down who I am so that I can be perceived well from many view points. 

If I was an ambassador, I suppose this skill of morphing to fit in to any group would be useful but as a person who is deeply involved in using communication to help others via Coaching, the radio and writing, being vague can be my Achilles heel. 

As with most cases of modifying behavior in this way, FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) is the culprit behind my veil of vagueness.  My fear is that if I clarify who I am by being specific about my feelings, ideas, opinions, then I may ultimately step on somebody’s toes.  

Recently I have had the opportunity to intern on a radio program (KOOP 91.7FM) so that in six months I may be considered to run my own radio show.  Even though I’ve known since I was very young that I wanted to be a talk show host, and even though I’ve had a blast each time I’ve been invited to be a guest on a radio show, I still didn’t own the fact that I wanted to have my own radio show. Not until a couple of days ago when the person I am interning with made it very clear regarding how they wanted the intern (me) to behave and how to help them.  Egads! I was put right into my place!!   I felt depressed for a full fifteen minutes until I wondered what the gifts were that this interaction had brought to me.  For one thing, I understood completely what was expected of me and definitely what the radio show host wanted.  But the most important realization I had was DAGNABIT I want to have my own program.  

I have this belief that we are all connected and that the Universe, GOD, the force, cannot get behind what our hearts’ desires are until we are really clear about what it is that we desire.  God doesn’t do vagueness.  

I believe that faith and trusting the process figures into our being clearer about who we are and what we want too. As I was talking to a dear old friend today about this realization of vagueness, she shared that her experience of me was that I was NOT vague, but upon further reflection I could see that I’m not vague about those things that won’t cost me much if I don’t get them.  When I do tend to be vague is when things, people and/or ideas that mean a whole lot to me and therefore RISK is spelled in big blinking letters in the sky.  Maybe I should plop T R U S T right up there next to it next time. 

What are you willing to raise your veil of vagueness for today?