RB005 Love and Happiness

Posted on : 05-03-2014 | By : Lynn | In : Baby Boomer, Communication, Heart Talks

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It’s a wonder any of us ever actually choose to get married, much less decide that we’re in love with another person and want to have a relationship with them.  Let’s face it, according to a  2011 Pew Research marriage survey, marriage is at an all time low in America at 51% of adults getting married. Pew goes on to say that,   Having a successful marriage is “one of the most important things” in life for 36% of adults, according to a 2011 Pew Research survey. An additional 48% said it is “very important but not the most” important.”

Later this afternoon, I’ll be interviewing Marcia “Naomi” Berger who is known globally as the Marriage Maven, about her latest book, “Marriage Meetings for lasting love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted” on BTR’s Hope42Day.    When the publicist first sent me Naomi’s book I was at once interested to have a guest who could offer tools to my listeners about having a good marriage but also hesitant because “I’ve already been there and done that…hasn’t everybody?”

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But, no, not all of us have created a vehicle that cultivates and supports a loving marriage for the long haul. That’s why many of us are still Googling to find the answers and why my friend and fellow web radio host Psychic Tee has a clamoring of listeners calling in to her shows, especially when she offers advice and readings about love and marriage.

For the record, there should be a special award given to my husband for sticking it out with me as we muddled through the first decade of our marriage.  Along the way we learned to remember not to take each other for granted and not to throw things at each other (physically or verbally).  24 years later, we have found lots of ways to enjoy each other and be grateful for our time.  Thankfully, we’ve always seemed to find ways to make each other laugh. For example, I wish I could secretly take a video of David dancing to the theme song from the TV Show Castle (which he does every time we watch it and makes me laugh every time) but you’ll just have to click on the hyperlinked Castle and imagine it for yourself.

Listen to what Marriage Maven Naomi Berger has to say about Marriage Meetings  and keep in mind, all good things come to those with patience and the willingness to work on themselves!

 

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WRITE005 Relationships

Posted on : 27-11-2012 | By : Lynn | In : Featured, Heart Talks

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One of my favorite sayings is by the Lakota Sioux which is an acknowledgement of the Universal relations, “mitakuye oyas’in” which means in all my relations.

It’s important for us (me) to remember that we are all in relationship with each other.  Not just those heart throbbing, vein pulsating, middle of the night awakening relationships.  And perhaps therein lays some of the clues we can use to help us in attracting and building those relationships that are of our heart’s desires.  We can pay attention to all of our relationships from our family to our friends to our co-workers to even the person on the other side of the counter who takes in our dry cleaning.  And, of course, paying attention to the most important relationship of all … the one we have within ourselves.  I don’t know about you, but I’m very glad that most people can’t read the thoughts in my head that I sometimes allow to take up space in my brain.

I was recently a guest on the ever popular Psychic Tee show.  When Tee opened up the lines for questions, so many people wanted to know  about their relationships and future relationships.  In my humble (or not so humble opinion) all questions lead back to self.  Who you are is who you are going to attract.  You will keep attracting that person or those people in your life until you’ve gotten the lesson that you’ve agreed to in your lesson plan for this life.  Only until we are ready to let go of creating huge dust clouds of illusions to cover up what we are unwilling to accept, will we be able to receive what the Universe truly does want to bring for our heart’s desire. 

How we experience our life may seem like we have no choice but to be distracted by the huge waves of high and low emotions but really it is just because the highs and lows are what we have allowed our life to be.  We don’t have to ebb and flow like that. It is a choice.  This afternoon I was listening to a radio station on Pandora that I’ve somehow programmed into my phone and can’t change. Uggh. It was interesting because most of the songs that were played were these heart wrenching relationship songs that I so do not have an interest in these days. But oh there would have been a time in my past when I would have totally loved wallowing in the misery that those kind of songs would have conjured for me.  Bring it on baby! Let the crying begin!  Thank g-d I am at a place in my life where so many other things catch my interest other than what drama I can fan to flames.

You can to if you make the conscious choice as well. Within all your relations.  Try it, you just might be surprised what you can create.

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NEXT100 How Do You Show Up In Relationships?

Posted on : 07-11-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Spirituality

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As I drove that long trek today between San Marcos and Austin, Texas (about 35 miles one way) I switched between my favorite radio stations, listening mostly to Jeff Ward on KLBJ AM and caught a minute or two of him talking about the recent article (Huffington Post) about how most Americans just have two close friends (confidants).  Evidently on the whole, Americans have shrunk from having three confidants down to just two.

Which got me to thinking. How do “we” show up in our relationships?  How are “we” defining friendships and close friendships today?  I am very active on several social networks and I do enjoy many friendships with all kinds of people; however, I still have my close friends who I relate to mostly out of cyber space.  I’ve spent way too many years getting my psyche straightened out to not cultivate and respect the friendships I have.   How about you?

Are you someone that people can trust? Are you someone who listens well to others?  Are you someone who cares enough about creating a solid friendship that you will hang in there even when sometimes the intimacy can get really uncomfortable?  My experience has been in most of my really good friendships that at some point down the road the relationship comes to that crossroad where you have to decide how much of your heart you’re willing to put into the game or if you’d rather pack up your gear and head down the road away from all that intimacy stuff.  It’s really freaking uncomfortable when you’ve allowed enough of your true self (thoughts, feelings, opinions, beliefs) to be seen that both the pretty and the not so purty comes out.  That’s when you really find out who your true friends are and who you really want to have as a friend.

You probably have an idea of some of the characteristics you like in a friend.  Mine are pretty simple when you come right down to it: truthful, loyal, respectful, confident, loving, intelligent/wise, funny, curious and spiritual.  I like to spend my time with people who are engaged in life and who want to bring out the best in themselves and others.  I don’t have time for naysayers, although it’s quite alright for someone to feel anger and/or resentment as long as they are willing to get to the crux of what that is about for them.  I figure with all the baggage that I used to cart around in my life (at least enough to fill up two bus loads) that I’ve since released, it’s a small request to make that my close friends have worked and continue to work on themselves as well.

When I think about some of the close friends I have in my life, I feel overwhelmingly blessed. I know that they would be there for me as I would be for them and in many cases, we’ve had the opportunity to be there for each other through thick or thin.  Close friendship was not always beer and skittles let me tell you.  I had no idea how to be close with more than two or three people at a time.  And don’t even get me started on my marriage.  I am so grateful that my husband and I have grown with each other and that our relationship keeps getting richer as a result. But I guarantee you wouldn’t have wanted to witness the first two or three years of our lives together. Neither one of us had any idea at all how to be intimate day-in and day-out much less how to be in a marriage.  Turns out though we both had strong values when it came to marriage that we had no idea we had until we were in the middle of it.  Twenty-one years later I’m grateful for that strength.

W H A T E V E R!!!!! Is what I have to say with all the media hoopla about social media and social networking and our being isolated, etc.   Not all of what you read is true for many of us.   At least those of us who enjoyed a good many years figuring out how to live on this planet before technology and although we are enjoying the technology…..we’re also good at using it  instead of allowing it to use us.

How do you show up in relationships?

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