WRITE013 Money Can’t Buy It

Posted on : 20-12-2012 | By : Lynn | In : Featured, Heart Talks

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Well, of course, there is a lot money can buy.  In most cases, money can put a roof over our head, food in our bellies, clothes on our backs and some mode of transportation or access to it.  If you live in an informational advanced society then money can buy you all kinds of things beyond the bare necessities.  What money can’t buy is love.  Truly, real love.  You know the kind, the friend or loved one who is there by your side with good humor and cheer during both the good and the bad times.  All the money in the world can’t keep you alive if you’ve got an untreatable catastrophic illness.  Money can’t take away a broken heart…although it may be able to mask it for a time.

It’s always fascinated me what we people do with our money.  Just this week a coaching friend told a story of a client he had who was making half a million dollars a year and wanted to expand her business to three times that much over the next year.  During the interview process he discovered that the reason she wanted to make three times as much money was because she was unable to make ends meet with $500, 000 a year.  Further exploration discovered that she spent over $2000 a month on several storage facilities for her shoes.  And no, his client was not Imelda Marcos.  He then told his client that before he could work with her, she would need to sell all her shoes and close her storage accounts. She fired him and then after six months of hemming and hawing around about what he told her she would need to do….she did it and hired him.   Her problem was not that she did not have enough money and her solution was not to make three times as much but rather for her to go to the core of her sick thinking around money and things and get in front of that first.

I’ve recently had the opportunity to work with some wonderful people who own a lovely store which attracts many wealthy and sublime clientele.  What’s been fascinating for me to experience is people buying beautiful (and sometimes) expensive things for themselves and/or their loved ones.  You get a sense of the pleasure they find in being able to spend the favors of their hard-earned rewards.  Of course it is the holiday season with many coming through to spend the most they will all year long.  We witness this kind of thing happening all over the country and world for that matter but I’m getting a very different sense of the season and all it entails in this unique store setting which is set apart from the big box stores and malls.  The money exchanged feels more respected and cared for rather than desperate and impulsive.  I get a sense that this relationship with money is something that can’t be bought.  Oh sure, many of the clients are very wealthy but more than a few have set their sights and goals on specific items they enjoy in the store and look forward to purchasing them for well-thought out reasons this time of year.  The money they spend is not instead of helping out in philanthropic ways but is in addition to.

I’ve lived in all kinds of environments from very wealthy with cooks, gardeners, china and place-settings to having only bags of potatoes to eat, one room and lousy gas heaters.  What I’m re-learning these days is that, that sense of esteem, peace and enjoyment of life is not something that money can buy.  I’ve had the same sense of loss, discouragement and very low-self esteem living in renovated castles and sleeping on hand-made mattresses  as I have sleeping in a very old one-roomed efficiency on a used mattress and box spring and very old sheets.  And, conversely, have had the same kind of joy riding Thoroughbred Polo horses wildly across acres and acres of blowing fields of grasses and flowers at the base of the Grand Tetons in Wyoming as I have walking the rim of the Ft. Davis State Park in Texas.

The joy that comes from inside can’t be bought.

How will you spend your inner beauty today?

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DINK #314 Money Isn’t Everything!

Posted on : 18-03-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Business, Career Stuff, Choices

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What? Money isn’t everything?!?  “How could you say that?!”, you may be thinking. But it’s true, Money is not everything. In fact it’s really usually only some kind of metal, fabric or paper (which is certainly not “everything”)!

Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of books have been written about what money is and in my not so humble opinion, not enough has been written about what money is not.

In all the cultures who use money, the metal, fabric or paper is an agreed upon symbol for mutual exchange.  We use it to communicate an agreed upon thought such as you make me this and then I pay you what you and  I feel it is worth with our agreed upon symbol.  Isn’t it interesting how much time most of us spend on wanting to and/or acquiring money and how little time we spend on the actual communication and cultivation of relationships with other people? Money is a symbol used for communication but it is not actual communication.

Before I list the top ten things that money is not, please know that I am acutely aware that for many of us we have a lot of needs (much less wants) that (in our cultures at least) cannot be met without money.  I know that I need a roof over my head, food in my belly and clothes on my back just like you do, so maybe this top ten list will help you to put your idea of what money is in your life back into its rightful place in balance with everything that is available to you that won’t cost you a cent:

1.) Money is not the warm feeling you get when someone is unexpectedly kind to you.

2.) Money can’t buy you that look that your loved one/dog/cat/horse,bird gives you straight into your eyes that let’s you know you are loved and respected.

3.) All the money in the world won’t buy you true friendship with someone who would give you the shirt off their backs if you needed it and really be happy to do so.

4.) Money won’t fill that empty hole in your gut that only spiritual and emotional healing and time can fill.

5.) Money will not make you important.  Look at Bernie Madoff, how important is he now?

6.) Money won’t buy you the experience of laughing so hard with someone you care about that you run out of breath.

7.) Money will not make you a better person.  You can be a good person and do really nice things with money for others but that doesn’t mean you’re better.

8.) Money is not the answer to all your problems.  If you have a problem right now that you believe money would get rid of, then think again…you may be able to come up with a creative solution to help you get your problem(s) cared for in another way.

9.) Money is not approval.  If you have lot’s of money it does not mean that the world approves of you and if you have no money it does not mean that the world disapproves of you—money is a material thing—it does not have feelings.

10.) Money is not love. Money is not love.  Money is not love.  Yes, if you are a loving person with money you can buy many loving things with money but the actual money itself is not love.  Money is a material thing-it does not have feelings.

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DINK #233 Humility And Money Really Can Go Hand-In-Hand For Some Of Us

Posted on : 09-11-2010 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized

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Have I told you lately how much I love the three women who meet with me for one hour every week (for the past 10 years) on the phone to coach/mentor and explore our worlds mentally, spiritually and emotionally? Today was no exception for my love and gratitude to them although our Florida sister was missing in action today! Nevertheless, three of us managed to carry on and ended up in a really interesting discussion about money.

One of us is really experiencing what it feels like to be on her own for the first time in a long while and heading into her 60th birthday. There are a lot of women who are heading into their 60’s and 70’s who don’t have too much of a cushion, if any cushion, to keep a roof over their head, food in their bellies and clothes on their bodies. Many of these women are educated, have lived a nice comfortable middle class life and whether through death, divorce or choice find they are now on their own.

The group’s discussion evolved into talking about our own personal journeys with money and our relationship with it. For at two out of the four of us, has been one of pushing it away and seemingly going to great lengths to avoid it rather than to graciously receive money with some semblance of humility. We talked about how it is much easier to volunteer and do things for other people without asking for anything in return (which is a good thing if not taken too far) but then, of course, we go above and beyond the call of duty (for free) and it get’s more difficult to receive money if and when somebody offers it.

For the longest time I have felt like I must be putting out the kind of energy to the universe when it comes to money that is the exact opposite of a magnet. And yet I have many friends who have money and seem to have a good relationship with it when it comes to spending it, giving it away or asking for it. In my past, there has been a lot of guilt, shame and embarrassment when it came to asking for money (even when I had clearly earned it). I would have to become really resourceful if I ever found myself living off the streets because I don’t think I would have the humility it would take to ask for money and to receive it. I don’t like that feeling of anyone having power over me because of money.

But that’s me. What about you? Do you have the humility it takes to give and receive money? What are some of your own money stories where you have been able to see the pattern of your behavior? Curious minds definitely want to know?!

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