NEXT037 Living Your Life Well!

Posted on : 21-08-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Heart Talks

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George Herbert said, “Living well is the best revenge” and I would say “living well is the best way to love” because if you can’t love yourself enough to live your life well then no matter how much you want to love others, there will always be that part of you that is not being loved and taken care of that will get in the way. Like pants caught in-between the car door and the seal of your car.  In one of the 12-step programs that I frequent it is often said, “put recovery first and the rest will follow”.  When I first got into this recovery group, I could not understand what the shimdiggidy they were talking about at all.  Put recovery first? That sounded way too selfish to me but what I came to understand is that before learning a way of life that has taught me how to take care of myself mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually—-I was constantly putting myself first, but not in a good way. Or rather, I was putting those things that hurt me (alcohol, drugs, nicotine, caffeine, food, etc.) first before anything or anyone else.  Well how much do you think I was really able to give to others when I clearly didn’t know how to care for myself?  Yeah, not much.

Today I try to live my life well for all of the reasons I just talked about AND because not only can I be there for other people but I want to be there for other people.  I don’t live my life well today out of revenge but more out of gratitude. That and making amends to myself and others who got in harms way when my life was all about avoiding life.

Taking one simple step to living your life well can start you on the road to a freedom that is second to none.  Recovery from addictions have been many steps along my road but maybe your story doesn’t have addictions in it, maybe your story is thinking about yourself and what you really need (and want) in your life that you have been avoiding. Like how about your health?  Have you been to your doctor/dentist for an annual check-up lately? Make that appointment this week if you haven’t?

What’s one simple step you’re going to take this week to living your life well?

Joyous Dolphins Jumping Out of Water

Blog #72 What Would You Want Your Obituary to Say About You?

Posted on : 02-06-2010 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized

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I think the first time this question was posed to me about what I wanted my obituary to say, must have been through one of my coaching circles. Not to get all Harold and Maude on you (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067185/) but I actually enjoy reading the obituaries…at least the ones from the city I live in or smaller towns…..There was actually a time about twenty years ago where the Houston Post was courting us to be subscribers and I looked through the obituaries only to learn that a retired professor who had been a very special landlord of ours, had passed. What are the odds?

Anyway, what got me to thinking of this is that a dear friend of mine from my boarding school days’ mom passed away recently and she sent us her obit which was incredible! Wow what a woman. Mary Lou Shirer is her name, by the way, in case you read the Austin American-Statesman. She was one powder-keg of a woman from her early days serving as a physical therapist through the Army Medical Corps during WWII to recreating herself as a successful Realtor in Austin for twenty years. I know two of her children, and they are both equally as amazing as she was as are the grandchildren!

The purpose of my question to you is to get you to thinking about when it is all said and done and you’ve lived the good life, what will be said about you? Will there be any stone left unturned? Is there enough spice peppered throughout your life that you’ll have to really think about how to talk about yourself instead of just saying, “she/he was so nice to everybody (not that there is anything the matter with that) and will be missed by all….”. How do you see yourself today? Do you think people experience who you are the way that you would want them to experience you?

I’m always surprised by how people/friends/family perceive me because many times it is better than I would have thought. What separates really fabulous obituaries (and hence the people for whom they are written) from the others is when the true character of the person is revealed. What a person did or positions they held are somewhat interesting, but I’m much more interested to know how they responded to life, like in Mary Lou’s obit when it said, “Mary Lou would meet people with a big hug, and say, “COME ON IN THE HOUSE”. I know that’s true because I experienced that exact kind of welcome for the first time when I was 16. Put me instantly back into her warmth.

Even today everyone who reads Mary Lou’s obituary is going to get a “re-hug” from the memory of her because the “who” of who she was, was so big.

Who are you and what will be said about you when all is said and done?