Posted on : 13-04-2011 | By : Lynn | In : End of the Road, Featured
Tags: just "be"
Have you ever found yourself about ready to jump off the proverbial “cliff” complete with your Avenger cape (mine’s red) wafting out from behind you as you peer out from behind your black mask ready to tackle all the problems of someone you care about? Actually, I may have several sets of capes and masks with various designs to complement the mood of whatever occasion I feel that I must “save”.
I’ve been blogging lately about a good friend of mine who entered hospice care a week ago and thought I was doing pretty well in terms of keeping a good balance between being there for her and being there for me and my life. And if you compared me to the person I was several years ago and how I would have reacted to this situation with who I am today then you could say that I have been doing a good job. With that said however, I am so grateful that I have friends who have known me for awhile who can be there for me and help me to see that I’m not only wearing a rather dashing cape and mask but that I’ve even added a shiny new pair of boots to my clever ensemble! One friend gently reminded me that there is a whole hospice (Christopher House in Austin ROCKS!) team who can help my friend and her sons figure out which skilled nursing center that is best for her to relocate to and what “stuff” she wants to take with her as well as which items she wants packed up and stored. It is more important for me to be there for her as she moves through this stage of her life than for me to get in there and get BUSY (so that really, I don’t have to feel what is going on). These are precious times that I’ve been given the opportunity to share with my friend and her family and what I really want is to be able to just “be” there with my friend and enjoy the time we have together.
During our visit today, I wheeled my friend out on to her patio for a cigarette (hey, what are you going to say to someone dying of cancer, “no you can’t smoke because….?!??”) and we sat there studying the mural that had been painted on the wall in front of her room (she’s an artist so I always enjoy hearing her take on things.) We were trying to place the landscape that had been painted. She thought it looked like a scene out of West Texas showing the rolling hills and mountains (yep, we have mountains in Texas too!). There weren’t very many trees painted, but my friend did comment about the few sets of Poplar trees by saying, ‘have you ever noticed that they tend to plant Poplar trees by cemeteries” and I said that I had but I’d also noticed that for some reason people in out of way places, especially those without a whole lot of trees seemed to like line their driveways with Poplar trees from the entrance all the way to their home. We sat there as she smoked another cigarette and I took another deep breath in appreciation of our friendship and then something on the ground below the mural caught my eye. It was half of a shell of a little bird’s egg. It wasn’t quite white but it wasn’t quite any other color I could identify either plus it had strickles (Lynn word meaning a smattering) of brown lines running all over it like little mountain streams. I picked it up for us to examine.
I’m so glad I that I’d left my cape and mask at home so that I could just hang out with my friend and enjoy our time together instead of worry-warting about what next thing I needed to get done!
Sometimes the best kind of rescuing we can do for another person is just to show up and just “be”. Where can you just “be” in your life today?