DINK #234 I Know I Can Make You Laugh….But Someone Might Have To Die First!

Posted on : 10-11-2010 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized

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I have a good friend who shall remain anonymous because she’s pretty well known and as I’m respectful of her anonymity, well to a point, I’ll leave her nameless. Anyway, she’s very intelligent, a lover of God, very creative and absolutely hilarious and she is one person that I can absolutely shake out the dark shadow side of myself and share with her with complete abandon. All of us should have at least one person that we can share our dark side with so that we can let it out, invite it to the middle of the room and laugh at and with it until it disappears into a fine granular dusting of light.

Anyway, this friend of mine and I have an understanding that in our coffers we have in the making one of the most hilarious two women comedy skits about life that never was and never will be created. Meaning, we can never actually create this comedy compilation and take it on the road because it is composed of all of our shadow selves’ perspectives about life, people, etc. and so pretty much a whole bunch of people would have to die first because some parts of the play would be about them and we wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

This may sound awfully heartless upon reading this but really it’s been so helpful when I find myself in one of those life moments when I’m having to battle with my inner demons while behaving kindly, professionally and otherwise well-mannered outwardly. The reason it is helpful is that I know that whatever inner battle that I’m having now will make absolutely hilarious fodder for my friend and I as we add to our compilation of stories for the comedy duo of skits that will never actually happen. Yet.

Perhaps when we’re 85 and we look back on these days we will shake our heads in understanding at ourselves but for now, it sure does help the medicine of lessons learned to go down easier. As I’ve heard many times in various 12-step programs “to accept something doesn’t mean you have to like it”. We people in recovery for various addictions are often back door people who always want a codicil to any agreement we make so saying that I accept something without having to like it eases the pain of commitment.

I have had so many learnings and understandings over the past couple of days that I wish I could share with you now but suffice it to say (because I don’t want anyone to have to die first), I am learning how to have some humility and laugh with myself as I shake out my beautiful little ego.

Life is good and I am blessed. Love y’all!

DINK #233 Humility And Money Really Can Go Hand-In-Hand For Some Of Us

Posted on : 09-11-2010 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized

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Have I told you lately how much I love the three women who meet with me for one hour every week (for the past 10 years) on the phone to coach/mentor and explore our worlds mentally, spiritually and emotionally? Today was no exception for my love and gratitude to them although our Florida sister was missing in action today! Nevertheless, three of us managed to carry on and ended up in a really interesting discussion about money.

One of us is really experiencing what it feels like to be on her own for the first time in a long while and heading into her 60th birthday. There are a lot of women who are heading into their 60’s and 70’s who don’t have too much of a cushion, if any cushion, to keep a roof over their head, food in their bellies and clothes on their bodies. Many of these women are educated, have lived a nice comfortable middle class life and whether through death, divorce or choice find they are now on their own.

The group’s discussion evolved into talking about our own personal journeys with money and our relationship with it. For at two out of the four of us, has been one of pushing it away and seemingly going to great lengths to avoid it rather than to graciously receive money with some semblance of humility. We talked about how it is much easier to volunteer and do things for other people without asking for anything in return (which is a good thing if not taken too far) but then, of course, we go above and beyond the call of duty (for free) and it get’s more difficult to receive money if and when somebody offers it.

For the longest time I have felt like I must be putting out the kind of energy to the universe when it comes to money that is the exact opposite of a magnet. And yet I have many friends who have money and seem to have a good relationship with it when it comes to spending it, giving it away or asking for it. In my past, there has been a lot of guilt, shame and embarrassment when it came to asking for money (even when I had clearly earned it). I would have to become really resourceful if I ever found myself living off the streets because I don’t think I would have the humility it would take to ask for money and to receive it. I don’t like that feeling of anyone having power over me because of money.

But that’s me. What about you? Do you have the humility it takes to give and receive money? What are some of your own money stories where you have been able to see the pattern of your behavior? Curious minds definitely want to know?!

DINK #188 Another Big Ole Slice Of Humble Pie Please!!

Posted on : 24-09-2010 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized

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Yes, there is nothing quite like going back to school and finishing up what I decided was not quite worthy of my attention a few decades ago.  I know that really it’s such a great privilege and I’m very grateful for the opportunity and love learning something new every week…. still though…. I am collecting the calories from the big ole humble pie that I get to keep taking slices of every week.

Take today for instance.  I have the opportunity to work a contract gig AND learn from the master about PR and Writing (thank you NH) and so this morning I had to get up early enough so that I could feed the cats, get ready, eat breakfast and talk with four people (15 minutes each) who I sponsor and then be in San Marcos (about 42 miles from my casa) by 9:00am.  I pretty much looked like a bag lady leaving my house this morning with my back pack (with laptop and books), my architecture project that was due today plus all the supplies I will need over the semester and my lunch packed up and ready to go.  For some reason I always feel like a Carol Burnett character when I begin tossing this bag over that shoulder and another bag over the other one and then trying to figure out how to carry an awkward sized poster board in a trash bag that could break at any minute.  I did remember all my clothes and toiletries that I needed for after my mid-morning walk and was grateful that my hair is long enough now to fold up into a French bun and call it good.

The piece of humble pie today (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdXjm8pZMws) came when I had to make the fateful decision to park in the commuters’ parking lot away from the University instead of the parking lot that I prefer to go to which is nestled up close to the campus. Turns out that is also every other student’s favorite parking lot and most of them have good parking karma too so it’s not out of the question to sit there for 45 minutes watching and following innocent victims to their cars only to discover that they are using the parking lot to cut through to their apartment or class and not to return to their car.

I had to call the Parking Office (again) and this time got a really helpful gal (Heather) who was very patient explaining to me where to park so that I could take the Bobcat Shuttle from the lot to the campus. I’ve always been scared to do that because it would be just my luck to miss one very important part of instructions/directions only to discover that I had ended up somehow on an express bus bound for the panhandle (not that there’s anything the matter with that Tricia!).  I wish they handed out gold pins that we could affix to our backpack for those of us who take the Bobcat Shuttle challenge!  Even more humbling was the getting off the bus with everything that I was trying to carry from Point A to Point B.  That and when I get nervous, well, let’s just say I’m not a fun person to sit within 10 feet of for any length of time.  I think I accidentally hit a couple of students while exiting the bus and managed to figure out how to strap on my backpack, hang my lunch cooler, hold my poster board assignment and navigate the hills and stairs to finally land in the classroom.

As simple and silly as this may all sound to you, trust me, this would have been a deal breaker not so long ago in the world of Lynn.  I just would not have been able to stand not knowing so many things and taking my best shot based on the information I had and following through with action.  That and walking through campus like a one-woman show (lunch? here you go! Need some information? Let me Google that for you.  Architecture project? No problem, I can show you some photos that I took and mounted showing examples of how color was used to accentuate for this commercial structure!)!  Luckily, the hot sweats didn’t start up until I’d reached my final destination…. thank you God for cooler weather!

I guess if I had to choose between the two, I’d prefer a big ole slice of Humble Pie to eating Crow. But that’s just me, how about you?