Every morning and every night most of us, if we care at all about our teeth and gums, brush our teeth.  If you’re like me, I always marvel at that innocent elegant device called the  flip top cap to the  toothpaste tube.  Instead of the cap detaching from the tube and becoming forever lost like one mitten in the snow, much less experiencing the inconvenience from massive quantities of tooth paste winding its way around your sink, the counter and any other number of places that a tube could get knocked about during your morning stupor, it simply flips open for you to squeeze out just enough for your brush and then can easily be flipped shut before the tube even leaves your hand. In fact, you want to flip it shut. It feels good and right to do a one-handed flip shut with the tooth paste because it may be the only thing that you can flip shut with one hand all the days of your life and now you can do it every morning and night. But I digress.  It’s amazing that since 1886 when Dr. Lucias Sheffield invented the first tube of toothpaste all the way up until 2006 when Howard Wright filed his patent for the toothpaste flip top cap, we, the people of clean teeth, have been living with the inconvenience of tubes of paste and all that entails for well over a century.

It took us over 100 years of using something at least 2x a day for every day of our lives to recognize a solution that was right in front of us. Thanks  be to you Howard Wright.

This reminds me of the great comedy of 1963 called, “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad World” with so many of the great actors and comedians of the sixties. The premise of the story is that a dying man’s last words which are of a buried treasure under a “Big W”.  Hijinks ensue and off we go for a wild and madcap jaunt in a race to find the Big W.  For those of you who may have not seen this movie yet I will spare you from revealing the end but suffice it to say that the Big W was right in front of them.  Art mimicking life or life mimicking art you know we do either all the time and then tend to make fun of ourselves for not seeing the obvious.

Thought for the Day:  What solution elegant yet simple solution is right in front of you just waiting to be recognized?

Helpful Hint for Being Human:  When we are ready to see or hear the answer, we will.  Asking for the help to recognize the answers in front of us is a first step.

Okay, I admit it. I’m more of a seeing the glass as half full kind of gal than seeing it as half empty. I’m like this partly because if I allowed myself to think about the glass being half empty then my mind would pile on so many implications and complications, such as why do we even have to put water in a glass or why are we even measuring water in the first place,  that it is just better for me to see the beauty and possibility of all things rather than the negative aspects.  Similarly, on days like today when the temps are not cold but also not warm and it is raining–which is a good thing in a place prone to drought– but it’s a drenching constant rain which can get really monotonous over an extended period of time, that causes me to want to find something positive to focus my perspective.  For example, witnessing how beautiful Wisteria is during that brief but special time period in Texas when it grows rampant and lush.  I especially enjoy spotting naturally blooming Wisteria in unexpected places such as growing all over a dead tree’s branches in the middle of a semi-dry creek bed.

Thought for the Day: What special snapshot of life will you keep your mind open for so that you can allow yourself to stumble upon and notice today?

Helpful Hint for Being Human: The way I see our thinking process and minds is that the more aware we become in regards to our thoughts, the more we can direct our thoughts to places that bring us peace. I mean there’s plenty of opportunity for life to torture us as it is without us contributing to it with reckless thinking!

One of the most difficult things to remember when you suffer from the blues now and again or full-blown depression is that there really will be sunshine after the storm.   Part of the insidiousness of experiencing the tarry black hole of despair is that, when in the midst of it, we’re convinced that this is the way our life is, the way our life has always been and the way our life will always be.

Repeat after me:  This is NOT the way it has ALWAYS been, this is NOT the way it will ALWAYS be and there REALLY WILL BE  SUNSHINE AFTER THE STORM.

Repeat as necessary.

  If you’ve read my blogs, you know that some of the tools that I’ve created and include in my trusty tool box of “having the life I truly want” may only be found in my tool box…so I share them with you to inspire you to take, use, re-design and/or create a totally new tool for yourself.

One such tool is to get really angry at the inky black despair that has slowly filled in the edges of my life.  Eventually, somehow, that anger attracts humor which births my own personal form of really dark humor. Might not be appreciated much by  Mother Theresa, but it does manage to help me break into the main shaft of the catacombs of my depression to begin the trek towards the light.

It must of been during one of these dank episodes that a fellow traveler of life coined the phrase “Really?!?!?”.   Saying, “really?!” feels so app when you’re simmering your anger within a broth of blue and begin noticing just how many ingredients it took to make up this stew that you’re in.  I’ve had moments in this midst that I have actually felt burbling laughs of glee because I so couldn’t wait to share with another just how crappy “life was being to me.”   The crux of the mix is when I realize that I had contributed much with my salty perspective.  I’ve found separating the good-Lynn from the blue-Lynn is advantageous at this time.  Call it denial, call it irresponsible but being able to put the blame of my tainted musings on an inanimate object such as “the depression” or “the blues” enables me to sniff out more absurdities of perspective rather than layer blame upon blame on myself.

As I write this blog I can feel the clouds circling my brain sprinkling out reminders of financial insecurity, aging, etc. and so if I take a tip from myself and go into the eye of the storm before it even sets into motion, I can already see some of the absurdities of how I respond to life uprooting themselves for viewing and pleasure.  For example, this weekend my young neighbors came to our door asking for help concerning a beautiful, starved Labrador Dog that a friend had rescued.  In the course of meeting the dog, I learned that our neighbor family had suffered from “foot-mouth” disease over the past month.  Just the mere mention of fever blisters was enough for my lips to begin tingling and popping forth with a set for each side of my mouth of one of the banes of existence that has not darkened the shores of my lips for at least a year.  I could pile this reality on to the reality of looking for a steady income and really just nose dive into a fetal position but instead will relish the absurdity of it all!

For you see dear beloved ones I really do believe there will be sunshine after the storm(s)!

What is one thing you can “see” in a different way than you ever have before?

For example, there is this little area in our living room that has kind of morphed into what some might call an alter of sorts.  Two different people had given me Ganesh statuettes that ended up on the marble stand that used to hold up a water fountain.  Because that area has always been hidden in an unlit area, when a friend gave me a salt light, naturally I put it up there too.  And then, of course when my husband brought home three of those tall candles with religious icon decorations all over them (instead of something basic like vanilla) I put those next too the stand.

Over the years, we’ve ended up with interesting rocks from various trips abroad and a couple of petrified coral…so they fit perfectly in the little cave-womb of the stand along with another candle in its own little case that refracted the light nicely off the inside when lit.  It has occurred to me more than once, that some of my “less-than-open-minded” friends and acquaintances that have visited our humble abode may have wondered, almost feared the altar area of the living room but I quickly put that aside knowing that this area was really art-in-the-making for me.

Fast forward to a weekend of thorough house cleaning. Happened to have George, our Border collie and Paul, our Aussie-Shep, keeping me company while I cleaned. I noticed when I got to the alter area and pulled out all the rocks and candles to dust thoroughly that, George, was watching the whole process intently and being as how it is in the genes of these two dogs to pay attention to everything in their environment, I didn’t give it too much heed.  Later that evening as my husband and I were settling in to watch an episode of our favorite TV show, David noticed that one of the rocks from the “sacred pile” was almost purposefully sitting all by itself about two inches from the others on our living room floor.  We chuckled at the oddity of it and went back to watching our show.  After the show, David looked back over to the alter area and, sure enough, there was not just one rock two inches out from the others, but four very carefully moved rocks set out from the rest.

Now, I’m not sure exactly what was going on in George’s mind when he moved the rocks except that he does love to chew on rocks and stick, but I do know that he must have thought there was something pretty darn special about those particular “alter” rocks which left me to conclude that if my dog knows enough to treat this area and all its content with reverence then perhaps I should as well.

Today I’m claiming my “God spot”, rocks and all.  Thank you George, for helping me to see something a little differently that was right in front of me all this time.

According to the Idiom Dictionary, “if you say that someone you admire has feet of clay, you mean that they have hidden faults”.  Of course, all of us have faults and many of them are hidden, that’s part of being human.  I’m consistently amazed; however, at how offended and surprised the masses seem to feel when the latest and greatest celebrity shows that they do indeed have feet of clay.

Take Lance Armstrong.  No, really, take him!  Unless you’re living under a rock somewhere you have probably been privy about Oprah’s interview with Lance.  Even though I love Oprah, I still have not been interested in watching the interview.  Just seems like it would be too rich with the set-up of all things having to do with branding and spin and not enough humanity although I do believe Oprah is very intuitive and so it would be interesting to watch what she seems to be “picking up” from Lance.

A guy I dated decades ago once told me that some of the best articles you could ever read are located in your local newspaper’s sports section. For some reason, I’ve never forgotten his advice.  In our own Austin American-Statesman, Kirk Bohls summed up what many were feeling after Oprah and Lance’s long ballyhooed interview in his Thursday column.  Then in Saturday’s Statesman, Suzanne Halliburton wrote about “Armstrong Talks of Pain He Felt” which, I gotta admit, put a chink in my armor when I read about Lance’s interaction with his 13-year old son, Luke. Oh yeah, he’s a Dad too.  That one got to me.  I had to remember that even Lance has clay feet.  Big clay feet.  And his son knows it now at such a gentle age.

In our world of making celebrities and unfathomed amount of monies we seem to get so caught up in the spin and glitz of it all that before we know what is happening the human in the center becomes lost in the tornado of things much bigger and each part takes on a life of its own.  Soon huge entities supporting millions are built on top of the celebrity with branches, limbs and roots reaching out to eternity.  And what we all forget is that those clay feet cannot hold up under all the pressure.

The burnishing light of truth will always find the cracks.

So, yeah, it really sucks that Lance got lost inside of his fame at a cost to many least of all himself and it sucks that the balancing side of his celebrity is a big huge glopping seedy amalgam of mess and it sucks that just shy of Lance doing himself bodily harm it seems to be the only way to satisfy the public about his remorse but what we all need to keep in mind is that we all, every single one of us have clay feet.

Remember the Glass Houses……….

Obviously, the first step is to be willing.  Willing to turn over whatever that thing, person, place or idea is that you may be in a tangle about.  Then there is that in-between space where we become willing to wait for the answer to our question about that thing.  Oh yeah, the waiting.  Hmmm.  I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather have my prayers/questions/wishes answered in my time, not God/the Divine/Spirit/the Force/Good Orderly Direction’s time…..

This morning, I had the opportunity to wax philosophical about making a decision to turn my will and life over to something bigger than myself with a group of friends.  Oh, I shared how much that concept has worked for me in the past and how, even now when finding a way to earn income is proving to take just a bit longer than I had wishes, I was still able to turn the results of this over and to trust the process.  Then I left this Saturday morning group of friends to join another good friend to take a Hula Hoop Class and on the way stopped to grab some coffee for the commute.  Ten minutes later I had my Venti delicious and got in my car to take off for the class and my car was dead.  Silent. Nothing clicking nor whirring.  By the way, we had just dropped another $300 to get a switch fixed this past week.   Considering this baby has over 174K on it in mileage, its hung in there pretty darn well for us.  But needless to say, the moment didn’t fly right over my head that life was giving me the opportunity to “WALK MY TALK!”.  In other words, when life is life and deals you crap, you don’t have to act out or imbibe to numb your negative reaction. It’s not personal, it just feels like it is.

I have to out myself by admitting to you that a few hot little words did fly out of my mouth when I called my husband to tell him the news and ask for his help.  For about three minutes there I felt pretty desolate and then my friend generously offered to come help me with her Triple A membership and to tell my husband to stay at home and not worry about me and the car, she would help me.  While I was waiting for her, something told me to go lift my hood up and just look at the innards of the car. So I did, touching this wire and that (no, I promise you that I know very little about the mechanics of a car). But, when I got back into the car and turned the switch for the hell of it, of course you know that car started.  Because we now had a couple of hours to burn, my friend and I decided to meet for coffee at one of our favorite haunts that we hadn’t been to in awhile.

After our coffee and chat I felt like the angels had deigned that my car shouldn’t start so that I could be there for my friend as a listening ear.  But the morning wasn’t finished delivering its messages.  We had walked over to one of our favorite art and gift stores in Austin just to look at their beautiful art and gifts.   We ended up having a lovely discussion with the owners about life etc..  On the way home I called another good friend to share with her the events of the morning and when I mentioned the nice store owners who I met through my friend, well….turns out…she had just “met” one of couple who told her that she was searching for someone who could help her with her store.  Sooooooooooo. Hmmmmm. Wonder if all that happened this morning so that I could meet her, so that she could know about me so that maybe, I can help her with her store?  I don’t know.  We’ll find out next week when our mutual friend returns to the store to make a decision about a purchase and relays the connection between me, her and our other friend and that maybe just maybe I’m that person she is looking for….

A + B = C

Whatever happens, I’m glad my brain works out seemingly poopy and depressing situations like my car not working this morning and the disappointment of our missed class to instead seeing that there may be unseen forces working to open the doors of opportunity for us when we’re willing to wait for the answer.

If nothing else, my reflection of the experience creates a much prettier piece of artwork then the trash I could have created!

“Insanity with Style”

If you’ll watch at least two episodes of Aaron Sorkin’s new television show, Newsroom, I am confident that you will remember how to feel inspired and hopefully, will remember what we humans are capable of being (in a good way).

On the second page of the Austin Daily Planet is a photo comparing the mass of ice in the Arctic in 1979 to the shrinking mass in 2012.  The blurb below predicts unpredictable weather caused by the shrinking mass of ice causing the temps to raise around the world.

I remember several years ago hearing Deepak Chopra speaking in front of the Austin Women in Technology group about global warming and the hole in the ozone.  What he said that made an impact on me then and still lingers in my memories today is that we (humans) have scientists and technology available today (that must have been back in 2006) that could heal and fix the hole in the ozone layer, cure major diseases, etc.   I believe this is so.  At least for the half century I’ve been a visitor to this planet, I’ve certainly come across some amazingly capable people who are doing incredible things for our planet that doesn’t always make it up to the air of the popular media.  This requires some digging into the matrix.

I hope at some point each of us will stop and take stalk of who we are and about the world around us and be able to choose where we will put our thoughts and energies.  Do we really care so much about what housewives are doing to themselves in various genres on the boob tube?  I feel sorry for the people who were born years after me who often don’t know what “normal” weather is like where they live.  But I do believe they could. We humans can create amazing results when we put our minds and our hearts to it.

Where will you focus your thoughts today?

Aging is definitely not for sissies (play on Betty Davis’ quote)!  And most especially aging is not such a chilly red hot thing in the U.S.A.  especially if you’re female.  I communicate with many people on a daily basis, both men and women, who are mostly from the U.S. but there are some from Mexico, Canada and across “the pond”.  I was born at the end of the fifties and so I’ve lived through a few decades here and have some experience from whence I write!  As much as I would like this blog to be uplifting and inspiring to you, I’ve got to be honest about the negative aspects of the aging of our outer shell that encases 85% water! At least in this country.

At the same time, I am very grateful for many aspects that I enjoy today including robust health, clarity of mind, good heart and good energy!  I am very grateful that my husband and I have affordable healthcare unlike many of my single female friends who choose to either not pay for healthcare or buy the very expensive catastrophic variety with a huge deductible.   I run five miles every other day, I also run five miles on the elliptical and work out three times a week and swim laps in our pool. Not bad for a “seasoned broad”.  Many friends in my age group and many who are a decade or more older than me are finding themselves in the new world of a different kind of retirement.  Many plan to work well into their seventies.  A good friend who is the sexiest 75 year old woman I know just landed a job in her field after three days of looking.  Although she is grateful, if she had her druthers she’d much prefer to be retired and enjoying her grandchildren.

So why is aging in America such a trial?  Well, if you don’t happen to have a good job (or any job for that matter) it is expensive to live as a senior especially if you need healthcare services.  For those of us just hitting the age where our outside bodies don’t match how good we feel on the inside, we buck up against all of us who have been steeped in the advertising and commercialization of beauty and begin frantically looking for the magic pill that will remove the effects of nature.  Isn’t it a shame that we humans have dedicated so much of our energy and lives to resisting and fighting aging? I met a billionaire a couple of years ago who is in his early 70’s and I remember wondering what the hell his story was because his face looked like it had been ravaged and repaired after an accident or fire because the sheen from the stretching of his skin was so apparent.  He is obsessed with face lifts and has had many in his life.  Really made me pause.

On one of my jogging routes, there is a piece of land that I love running by because of the three really old and glorious cedar trees scattered on it. Yes, cedar trees can be quite resplendent when they’re allowed to grow tall.  I especially love them because of their gnarly trunks and evidence of having weathered many a day and several years in their plot in our hood.  If only we could change our thinking, opinions, judgements and beliefs to view aging humans the same way.  I often think about elders from various cultures in Africa, Australia, the mid and far East as I slather on creams and concoctions to beautify myself and wonder what they are doing with themselves right now in their lives.  Do they worry about looking older? Probably not.  Are they even thinking of themselves? In most cases they’re probably not as self-absorbed.  What would they do if they were in our shoes?

What do you do?

What? Money isn’t everything?!?  “How could you say that?!”, you may be thinking. But it’s true, Money is not everything. In fact it’s really usually only some kind of metal, fabric or paper (which is certainly not “everything”)!

Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of books have been written about what money is and in my not so humble opinion, not enough has been written about what money is not.

In all the cultures who use money, the metal, fabric or paper is an agreed upon symbol for mutual exchange.  We use it to communicate an agreed upon thought such as you make me this and then I pay you what you and  I feel it is worth with our agreed upon symbol.  Isn’t it interesting how much time most of us spend on wanting to and/or acquiring money and how little time we spend on the actual communication and cultivation of relationships with other people? Money is a symbol used for communication but it is not actual communication.

Before I list the top ten things that money is not, please know that I am acutely aware that for many of us we have a lot of needs (much less wants) that (in our cultures at least) cannot be met without money.  I know that I need a roof over my head, food in my belly and clothes on my back just like you do, so maybe this top ten list will help you to put your idea of what money is in your life back into its rightful place in balance with everything that is available to you that won’t cost you a cent:

1.) Money is not the warm feeling you get when someone is unexpectedly kind to you.

2.) Money can’t buy you that look that your loved one/dog/cat/horse,bird gives you straight into your eyes that let’s you know you are loved and respected.

3.) All the money in the world won’t buy you true friendship with someone who would give you the shirt off their backs if you needed it and really be happy to do so.

4.) Money won’t fill that empty hole in your gut that only spiritual and emotional healing and time can fill.

5.) Money will not make you important.  Look at Bernie Madoff, how important is he now?

6.) Money won’t buy you the experience of laughing so hard with someone you care about that you run out of breath.

7.) Money will not make you a better person.  You can be a good person and do really nice things with money for others but that doesn’t mean you’re better.

8.) Money is not the answer to all your problems.  If you have a problem right now that you believe money would get rid of, then think again…you may be able to come up with a creative solution to help you get your problem(s) cared for in another way.

9.) Money is not approval.  If you have lot’s of money it does not mean that the world approves of you and if you have no money it does not mean that the world disapproves of you—money is a material thing—it does not have feelings.

10.) Money is not love. Money is not love.  Money is not love.  Yes, if you are a loving person with money you can buy many loving things with money but the actual money itself is not love.  Money is a material thing-it does not have feelings.

Yes, being happy is a choice.  I know there are many valid reasons for not being happy but as Abraham Lincoln one said, “most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to believe (and ole Abe suffered from severe depression).

Having lived many years suffering through various addictions and the curse of my own negative thought processes, I know that choosing to be happy is one of the most important choices I can make today.  Otherwise, I slip and slide down the slope of depression and become frozen in with doubt and insecurity.

Here are ten examples of places that I’ve chosen to be happy instead of succumbing to the dark side:

1.) Career Dilemma — There have been many times in my life when I have either been frustrated with a job or looking for whatever my “calling” was.  All the lessons I’ve learned through this career dilemma can be distilled down to this one thought, “to always remember that wherever you go, there you are.”  We bring whoever we are to every endeavor that we take….our being happy does not have to rest on the experience of something outside of ourselves to relieve us of our boredom, frustration, fury, resentment or indifference.  The journey to happiness begins within us.

2.) Relationships — I don’t even want to admit how many years I spent fantasizing about how I thought I wanted a relationship to be.  I still don’t understand how I stumbled into the marriage that I’ve been in now for 19 years, but I’m grateful for the serendipity.  I know today that even in a good intimate relationship, happiness has to begin from within first.

3.) Dwelling Places — otherwise known as your home or place that you reside.  I love my home today but I have to say that I’ve been able to make wherever I lived into a “home” that I could be happy inside of even in those places where I had very little to show for myself.  Beautiful colors, good music and happy animals have helped me to foster happiness for myself and others.

4.) Spiritual Fulfillment — this has probably been one of the most important aspects of my being able to choose happiness.  Trusting that there is a power greater than myself at the helm of things is balm for my soul, meditation and quiet time so that I can be quiet and listen for that connection to my higher power and being able to share a belief in a spiritual connection with others even when some people may have completely different specific beliefs about their spirituality, has all been such a huge peace to my heart where happiness grows.

5.) Health — if someone had told me when i was 16, that by the time I got to be in my 50’s that I wouldn’t be drinking, smoking, using caffeine, eating in large quantities and most especially not eating flour and sugar—I probably would have become very scared at the thought of what the hell had become of me to go to such extremes.  Actually, I am more happy today not doing all that stuff than I was with my face flat down in it for so many years.  I am happy that I have the stamina to still run long distance. I’m happy that I can hope right up onto the washing machine in one quick jump to put the sheets in the baskets above and I am happy that my focus today is on enjoying my life and the people around me instead of looking for my next “fix” of things outside of myself that I thought would make me happy.

6.) Mornings — I think it took me a long time to recognize that when I didn’t get enough sleep, I woke up in the worst mood in the morning and I tended to take out that mood on everyone around me.  Today, I make sure that I get plenty of good sleep and I also know that no matter what kind of “mood” that I’m in…..I am not the center of the Universe. Everyone else has their own world and problems to deal with as well.  Might as well choose to be happy (or at least neutral) about the morning.

7.) Traffic — Don’t get me wrong, you can ask anyone I know and they will tell you that I don’t like traffic.  I pride myself in knowing when are the most opportune times to hit the highway and when to stay off; however, today I do what I can to make life better when I’m in the car.  Just like everyone tells us, I make sure to leave with plenty of time to get to my destination.  I usually stop and get a cup of my favorite coffee to enjoy on the road and I have some favorite radio stations and podcasts that I like to listen to at different times of the day. Miraculously (there must be some rule of the road at play here), most of the time I seem to get to my destination right on time if not a little bit before hand.

8.) School — The fact that I’m in my 50’s and not only older than most of the students that I take classes with but also probably a lot of the professors, could make me feel very insecure and unhappy.  Yes, I have doubting thoughts that circle around in my brain such as “wonder what my life would have been like if I’d stayed in school when I was so young” but I quickly put a stop to them.  Instead, I’ve jumped in whole heatedly to my classes and engage with my teachers, my classes and the students around me.  I’m having a ball and just grateful for the opportunity to continue my education.

9.) Mental chemical imbalances — Can’t say this enough times, if you feel unhappy or depressed for a length of time (like weeks on end), go talk to a trusted physician.  I recommend talking with a therapist and if you both decide that perhaps talking with a psychiatrist is warranted, then do so.  I know several people who have taken it upon themselves to go to their GP or OBGYN and have anti-depressants prescribed but I really believe it is important to go to those trusted individuals who have the training and background in the mental health field. All kinds of advances are being made today.  Some people may need some therapy, some people may need therapy and medicine, work with those professionals who have made this discipline their expertise.

10.) It is always your choice — whether we choose to be happy or not is always our choice.  Remember that movie from 1997 “Life is Beautiful” about the prisoner in a nazi death camp who uses his humor and loving heart to protect his son?  People who choose to look at life as beautiful (which is another avenue to choosing happiness) are the kind of people I seek out like a heat seeking missile.  I want what they have. I want to be able to feel that divine love in my heart no matter what my outside circumstances.

What are some ways that you could choose to be happy today?