Trust me, I have to really make a decision to find something to be happy about instead of letting all the memes of our day pollute my mind.  I kind of like this perpetual teenage hood-ness that I seem to be comfortable living in and plan to not allow myself to become a crotchety old woman.  Sarcastic? Possibly.  Dark humored?  More than likely!

One of my little addictions of late is enjoying the 24/7 comedy channel that now plays in Austin, Texas.  I’m an in-the-closet comedienne you see, so I’m constantly looking for new material to mimic and crack my friends and family up with.   I’ve noticed that early George Carlin was easier to swallow then the edgy, really knife-edgy late George Carlin.  He spoke authentically but really really darkly.  It’s interesting how you can look at life and come up with observations that either make people laugh though cringe or you can make people laugh and feel good like comedienne Dmitri Martin.

What helps me is to remember how excited I would get (or dare I say just happy to be alive) when I was a kid.  You’d probably guess I was a food addict because what I remember about having to go to the base commissary with my mom and brother when I was 10-12, was that if we were good she’d treat us to a trip to the Dairy Queen where I always got a corn dog with mustard and a chocolate shake. A food combo that only a kid, and a kid who loves food, could enjoy!   All this week when I’d start feeling just a little bit down because it has been triple digit hot in Texas with no sign of rain relief in the forecast, all I’d have to do is remember about the quick trip to the beach that I’d be going on for the weekend with a good friend.  Then I’d pop into my happy place.  Takes so little to make me happy, really it does.

What will you find today to be happy about?

Me finding my happy place!

If you’ve been living in the past couple of decades then, more than likely, just like me, you’ve experienced the over all cultural phenomena of heightened fear in many aspects of your life with a big impact hitting your job or career.

On Friday, June 29, 2012 at 12:30pm CST I’ll be interviewing a highly regarded writer, speaker and management consultant, Judith M. Bardwick, Ph.D. on BTR’ Hope42Day.  In her book and subsequent talks and info-sessions, Judy shares about the psychological recession behind the changing work force (especially in the U.S.).

Here’s an excerpt about  fear from the book, “The prolonged, sustained fear that is characteristic of a Psychological Recession assures that good news will be discounted while bad news is accepted as the stuff of reality. The tragedy is that focusing on fears only reinforces them.  In understandable but irrational ways, people who are frightened move ever forward toward panic. In this way, a Psychological Recession is self-fulfilling.”

This got me to thinking about my days in the world of recruiting technical experts for long-term contracts.  In the late 90’s as we headed toward Y2K (for those of you who live under rocks, this was when the techno world was mainly run by mainframes and the uproar was all about the dates not being programmed to be able to turn over to 20 from 19 (1999 to 2000) we were flying high.  There was so much work to be done that we could not find people fast enough. Then there was a brief respite with client-server technology (remember that?) being the latest and greatest movement since the mainframe and like a creeping tidal wave, the internet took off and the rest as we know it is history.  There was a lot of fear in those days because the work world was being turned ass over tea kettle from brick and mortar to dot.com.  The psychology of how historically held institutions turned over the usual way of doing business to the new way—because of the impact of technology — from banking to real estate undergoing changes in fascinating (and frightening) ways.

I believe what allowed so much change to happen so quickly was FEAR.  Many people feared all the new technology taking place because they did not understand it. Then all that new technology coupled with the bright young minds stepping  up to leadership posts that would have taken years for previous generations to hold, had many reacting out of sheer fear.

Here we are a handful of years down the road from the great American recession and many countries undergoing their own radical changes (because, yeah, like they say, we are all connected!) and lot’s of people are scared, scared, scared.  The good news is that if you don’t want to be one of the mass who is steeping themselves in fear, anger, and dark perspectives of what life is all about….this is a most excellent time to put on that wet suit of confidence, trust and an open mind so that you can surf this huge wave of fear (maybe even have a whole lot of fun while you’re doing it) and come out on the other side to lead us to another way of doing and looking at how we do business (and live in the world).  I think that is how great leaders are created.  I think there is a whole lot of opportunity for smart people who understand humans and the psychology of business.

How will you see the world today?

Well, sure. I’m sure there are all kinds of agendas behind volunteering.  The critical, paranoid side of me wonders (quite loudly sometime in my brain!) who it is really promoting volunteering when many of us are already having to squeeze out every inch of time and energy available to try to make ends meet.

On the other hand, I have been giving my time to various anonymous groups that help alcoholics and addicts (food) get (and keep) sober/abstinent for many years because we learn when we get a new lease on life that what will keep us sober/sane is to “give back what we have so generously been given”.  Right now, I’d say I commit through meetings and working with others at least 12 hours a week to that effort (of which I am grateful to do).

The pros for volunteering is that it does help us to get out of ourselves in order that we can be of service to others–and in my opinion that is always a good thing!  I think what is still stuck in my craw is that the encouragement of volunteering (via PSAs on television and radio) feels disingenuous.  It feels like the subliminal message is to fill in the economic gaps that are continuing to widen with the glue of volunteering; otherwise, it is our (prospective volunteers) faults if the help does not get offered/given. What the encouragement to volunteer does not feel like is that anyone really really cares whether we’re growing spiritually/emotionally or not.

I do feel that volunteering is important. It is important to give back to the world and others; however, it is equally important to understand why you are volunteering.  Understand what you are giving in terms of time, energy, thought and heart, because that really can make a difference.

I think so.  One of the little meditation books that I read every morning is, “Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much” by Anne Wilson Schaef. For June 24, Anne shared that “she saw and accepted the negative and delighted in whatever positive there was.”  Consequently, graduate school was not difficult for her nor had work ever been.   The quote for the day by Victoria Lincoln said:

This is the art of courage: to see things as they are and still believe that the victory lies not with those who avoid the bad, but those who taste, in living awareness, every drop of good.

Granted, there have been moments in my life as Lynn that I have completely flown over any facts based in reality and glossed out very negative consequences of choices I had made trying to force a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.  But that’s not what I’m talking about today.  I’m coming from where I understand that Anne Wilson Schaef meant in that I’ve done the homework of life and I can see the goodness all around and through it.

Take the internet for instance.  For the first time in history, we humans are able to communicate with each other far and wide about anything (unless we’re  behind an internet wall as in some countries, but even than there are those who are figuring out how to work around it).  I hear from many quadrants of my life that all the information available to us is overwhelming and that there is so much negativity being uncovered.  Especially in the broadcast media.  If you believe like some of my friends who tend towards conspiracies (which, by the way, may be good to listen to with an open mind because you never know what morsels could be real…), at least in the United States, all the wealth is owned by 12 families.

How we see life is really all about where we put our focus.  Another infamously obvious statement but I’ll admit to you that there are times when I don’t pay attention where I’m putting my focus until I find myself down a dark winding path that I don’t want to be on.

Friday I interviewed mystic counselor, Paxton Robey on Hope42Day.    I first met Paxton and his wife, Anne, back in the mid-90’s and am as grateful to hear what he has to share today as I was then.  Talk about a realistic, but optimistic (and definitely mystic!) view of life!  Take a listen.

What can you feel realistically optimistic about today?

Earth Angel by Cynthia Stibolt

If you enjoy animals as much as I do, you’re probably  sharing some kind of space with them such as  your home, your office or a retreat.  When I’m blogging from my home office, I’m often surrounded by our three dogs; Reality, an 11 year old Black Lab, Paul, a four-year old Aussie mix and George, a one-year old Aussie mix.  My pack follows me from room-to-room all day, every day to the point that I try to let them know when I’m just going to the kitchen to make a quick cup of expresso and will be right back so they don’t have to get up from their comfortable nap positions to accompany me. In fact I communicate with them often about where I’m going, what’s going on in my world, even who I’m talking with on the phone (especially if it’s their Grammy who they love!) and most especially if where I’m going or what I’m doing will have an effect on their world.

Reality, Paul and George in the kitchen

I’ve communicated with my animals by talking to them and/or “sending pictures” to them for so many years that I forget that not everybody who loves and enjoys animals does.  It’s been my experience through the animal communication process that the level and breadth of their intelligence and ability to communicate is as wide and varied as, well, people.    When I meet animal friends of friends, I am often struck by how much their animal “knows”.   It is shocking to me that so many times the human involved has no idea the level of awareness that their animal friend has about their world and the human(s) they share it with.

Recently, a good friend of mine had to uproot her longtime home (landlord made everyone move out of their apartments so that they could be redone) and after tireless searching finally found one of the only apartments left to rent in Austin (well, okay, the kind of apartment community that she would want) and landed into a situation where she could have her cat, but the cat could never go outside.  It’s in the contract. This friend’s cat, Gilda, has been an indoor/outdoor cat since she was a babe and is used to roaming about the apartment complex freely, befriending humans and cats alike.  She is very affectionate and loves my friend greatly (always goes to sleep near her pillow with her paw outstretched so as to touch my friend somewhere on her body while in sleep).  My friend is totally distraught because Gilda is protesting loudly about being inside to the point that she has been let out sometimes only to come back either bitten by a neighborhood cat or soaking wet from falling in the pool.  Understandably, it is difficult for my friend to adjust to their new apartment much less come home after a 12-hour medical shift to a Houdini cat who will use whatever method works to escape from an open door.

As my friend told me this story, weeping because the only solution she could see was to find Gilda a good home where she could be an indoor/outdoor cat, I asked her if she had told Gilda all of what was going on.  Had she told her about the move and why they had to move. Had she told her about looking everywhere for the kind of apartment community they enjoyed and after finally finding one, learning they did not allow cats to go outside? She allowed that she had kind of talked with Gilda, but not to the depth I had suggested.   I immediately thought of a long time friend, Leta Worthington, who is a well-respected animal communicator (http://www.herbsandanimals.com/) and recommended that this friend contact her to initiate communication between said friend and her cat.  I also encouraged her to bring Gilda into the conversation that very night, with everything that had gone on and ask her if she would prefer living with another good person so she could be indoor/outdoor or if she would  be okay living inside for at least a year until they could find a better space for both of them.

My sense is that Gilda loves my friend so much that she will agree to stay for a finite period of time.  I also sensed that Gilda did not understand all the changes that had been going on in their lives over the past couple of months and really needed to be told so that she could make choices.  My experience of most cats are that although they’re  independent they’re also very practical and will be honest about what their preferences are by what makes the most sense to them.

We humans have so many issues with communicating with each other that it may seem that we have not time or bandwidth left in our brains to think about communicating with animals—-but when we do make time we just might discover that this new form of communication can help us out in more ways than we could have even imagined.

Gorgeous Gilda Gazing Up from the Sink

A small business owner client is in the process of turning his family-owned business around into the black.  Way black, making a good profit. As you can imagine, he has many, many goals and tasks that he must (wants to) accomplish each day.  In the three months that I’ve been working with him, he’s made an excellent start.

As a Coach, I know that assisting someone in setting achievable and attainable goals is key.  If the client doesn’t meet his/her goal continuously, likely as not they’ll probably give up somewhere in the process.  But herein lays the brush because what I might consider an achievable and attainable goal, you might think is very unrealistic.   Right in here in the nitty gritty is where we each have to get as honest with ourselves as we possibly can.  We also have to know ourselves pretty well.  We have to know things like what we’re capable of doing, where the end of our rope is, can we handle burning the candle at both ends and if we can, how long before we crater?  What has worked for us in the past?  Where have we gotten in our own way? Not to mention knowing our values, standards and needs!

I was fascinated to learn that this client has figured out a structure and process for knocking out great proposals that attract new clients and business to an art form.  Many businesses have failed because of sending out weak proposals in an untimely manner.  We were able to look at this aspect of his business and find a way to apply it one of his goals which continually nags at him which marketing for new business.

Instead of the marketing being done in one fell swoop like a proposal, it needs to be divided into chunks that can be done and delivered, monthly, weekly and daily.   For most business owners, especially small business owners, the marketing for new business tends to go way down the list of what they get done even though they know it needs to get done.  I  got an inkling during our session that for my client, it was a matter of instilling the same level of respect to his marketing process as he puts into his proposal process.

Because I’m a runner, I can so relate to being able to accomplish a huge goal in one fell swoop because I can see where it begins and ends, such as running up a big hill. And I also know that paying attention to my body while I’m running, making sure I stay hydrated, paying attention to my gate, if I’m slapping the pavement with my feet and how I am breathing can be tedious because I’m doing it all the time and won’t have an end to it till I reach the finish line but all those things are equally as important to my completing the run without injury as making it up a steep hill.

If you have a handful of goals and all of them feel like they are at the same level of importance, practice giving yourself some perspective so that you can see each of your goals for what they are and how they can best be accomplished.  Some goals will be a chunk of time when they come up, such as delivering a proposal to an interested customer. Others will need an on-going series of actions but remember that it doesn’t mean that your whole life has to be turned over to that one goal. Instead, think of it as spreading out the big-one-time-goal into bite-sized pieces that can be accomplished a bite at a time.  Even if it turns out that you’re applying only 30 minutes a day to that goal, if you are focused with your intention that half an hour can be worth its weight in gold. And hey, it’s sure better than spending no time on it!

We have the power with our own mind and spirit to accomplish many things that many people would deem impossible!

Today, I interviewed world renowned Psychic Tee on Hope42Day.   Tee Gregory’s bright energy and gifts were evident the minute she began speaking. So full of life, vim, vam and vigor!  I was interested to learn that Tee has only officially been out of the “psychic closet” (her words, and I think they’re good ones) for about four years now.  And wow! has she made hay where the sun shines.  Her strongest ability is remote viewing which allows her to “see” in the past, present and future. She works with many families and law enforcement agencies to help them find missing people and also has her own investigative agency.  Now that is something I am really interested in learning more about for myself because I’ve often wondered if it was possible that what I think I can do is remote view and sense.

Those of us who are interested in this realm of all things psychic and good (there are some crazy people out there dabbling in this stuff who have absolutely nothing that I want…) have heard often that all of us have some form of psychic/intuitive ability–some are just more aware than others.  This Dash tonight is to encourage those of you who are interested and aware to embrace the psychic within you.  Investigate people and studies that “speak” to you and your interests so you too can discover your own abilities.

So often those of us who are very sensitive are discouraged from ever practicing, much less growing and embracing our abilities from others who are afraid of the unknown. In some instances, we have good reason to be cautious because there are people who are exploring their sensitivities without guidance, direction or integrity.  That’s not what I’m talking today, what I’m saying is for those of you who are grounded in reality, find those people and places who will support you and your sensitivities.  You are blessed.

May all good things come to you and through you.  Namaste

Who are you anyway? Whoever that is, be that person.  After all, there is only one “you”.  Oh, if you’re a twin, triplet, etc. there may be a few human beings out there who look a whole lot like you do….but there still is only one of YOU.  I’ve often heard how we humans are born into this world being naturally loving, giving, enter in the adjective, verb, adverb that best fits here and then life happens. Well, what is that?  Why do we change out of being this fresh flesh encased soul into something else?  It’s as if we’re born trying to remember what we already know and then somewhere in the middle we forget everything and spend the rest of our lives trying to get back to what we already knew.

Not that there’s anything the matter with questing and improving ourselves so that we can be the best we can possibly be, but why don’t we all start now. Right now this very minute let’s just agree to be as much of ourselves as we can.  Preferably the good part of ourselves.  If you’re a highly sensitive person who feels emotions deeply, embrace that about yourself, welcome it and find ways to care for yourself around that.  If you’re a deep thinker, go off and think.  If you love to laugh, please, we can all use more laughter in this world. Whoever it is that you are, be that person.  Be that “are”. R R R.  Like me just then, I’m a big silly person and it’s taken me years to be okay with that aspect of myself (most of the time).

I’ve heard in the rooms of recovery over the years many times things like, “what other people think about us is none of our business” and “people are most likely thinking about themselves and really not even thinking about what you’re doing or who you are”.  So, let go of worrying about what others think about you and relax into being yourself.  You’ll be glad you did and I bet everyone around you will be glad too!

You may be thinking, “why would I want to help anyone when I’m in the trenches?!”  Well, because when we’re honest about how we’re feeling and what we’re thinking while we’re in the midst of crawling out of the trenches of life whether it be money related, work related, family related, etc….we help ourselves and we help others when we are transparent.  More than likely, there are others in the trenches with you—you just might not see each other because your walls are too high.

Recently I shared some of my experience of being in a financial trench.  It was a yucky place to “be” in and felt oh so familiar to me.  I could not get traction to climb up and out of the muddy walls, I could not stand the smell of it and I found myself wanting to just bury myself further into the very bottom in hopes that I would find a trap door to disappear through.  What was shocking to me is that I have not felt this way in such a long time, but boy the minute I stumbled into that trench, all the old feelings were right there with me.  The good news is that today I have tools to help me weather the storm of those negative feelings of guilt and shame.  I realized there were phone calls I could make to remove charges and actions I could take to create a flow of income.

It’s kind of a schizophrenic world we live in right now in many ways (is that an oxymoron?).  On the one hand, we’ve created this fantastic system of being able to communicate with each other all over this world but on the other hand, we are cautioned about the digital footprint that will follow us for the rest of our lives. Somewhere in the mix, finding our authentic being and embracing ourselves will create the stairs to lead us out of the trenches if we happen to stumble into them.  Being authentic means to be real about who we are and what we think and feel….even in the dark times.

A friend shared a question lately on “Ask Coach Lynn” about why she began her day so well yet ended it feeling so darkly.  I’m pretty sure many others can relate to her question and how she was feeling.  By her being willing to share and ask for help, she was not only helping herself but helping all the others who were feeling the same way.

What will you be “real” about today?

If your or someone you know is shy, nervous and/or anxious about interviewing here are some tips that have helped me and some of my clients, hope they help you as well!   

1.  The Basics.  

     a.  Plan to get a good night’s sleep before your interview if at all possible make it 8 or 9 hours. Seriously, it will make a huge difference towards helping you feel calm during your interview.

     b.  Likewise, eat a good healthy meal and drink plenty of fluids. Need I remind you to be sure to use the facilities before your interview?

     c.  Find an outfit for your interview that you feel great wearing?!  Make sure it’s clean and pressed.  Do some reconnaissance  and if possible find out what the normal dress is for where you’re interviewing.  It’s better to be over dressed (women in dresses/hose and men in nice slacks and jackets) then to be under dressed.

     d.   Be clean.  You’d think this was common sense but I swear over the 15 years I recruited and interviewed people, there were more than a few who seemed to not know about the wonderfulness of basic soap and water.  Trim up your hair and style it nicely. Guys–that goes for facial hair as well.  Go for a manicure/pedicure or if you just don’t want to shell out the bucks at least run an Emory board over your nails.  Clean out your nails too. There is nothing grosser than to look down at someone’s hands and see dirt.

You get the gist of the basics—when you look good you’re going to feel good which will help boost your confidence.

2.  Reconnaissance

      a.  Be your best private detective.  Learn about the company/business you’re interviewing….what do they sell/serve?  What do they expect of their employees in terms of work and commitment?  What is the atmosphere of their offices/space? i.e. if it is a technical company definitely be familiar with the software, hardware and other tools they are using.  Understand how they are using them and why….just might help you land a position.

      b.  Find connections.  Do you know anyone who has worked there before or currently? Maybe even a relative or friend of a friend.  Way back when I was determined to get a job at a prestigious magazine, I found all kinds of connections from friends of friends to a cousin of a friend and sent them all letters and my resume.  Be resourceful.

      c.  Depending on what job/position you are applying for, research as much as you can.  Is it a new position or is someone leaving it? How important is it in terms of the day-to-day business at hand?  If someone is leaving the position…why are they leaving?

Reconnaissance is another esteem-confidence builder.  When you walk in for an interview and “know” as much as possible about what you are interviewing for as well as who and where—you will feel good about yourself. Kind of like it feels to walk in to take a test after you have studied really, really well for it and “know” each of the questions.

3.  Remember your manners

      a.  Smile and never underestimate the power of being kind to whomever crosses your path before, during and after the interview.  After a candidate left our offices, because our space was small and compact, I knew that everyone from the admin to the recruiters could “hear” and sometimes see the person being interviewed. I always asked them for their impressions.

     b.  Send a thank you note.  Especially if you want the job.  Even if you don’t, if where you are interviewing has wide connections, you want to leave a good impression.  You never know who knows someone who will make a difference in your future. Trust me, as big as we all think our world is….it is really pretty darn small when it comes to bridges of opportunity.

     c.  Follow-up with the person you interviewed with (or if they referred you to another person/department) about a week after your interview.  Keep in touch, but don’t be obnoxious.  Once a week is good.  If you read articles/blogs/etc. about their company/industry/environment—definitely mention one in particular and why it reminded you of them.

4.  Handling your anxiety before and during your interview

     a.  Breathe, breathe, breathe.  There are all kinds of studies that show that simply giving yourself a moment to take in a deep breath, holding it (count up to 10 sec) and releasing it and doing this 10 times can help you to relax.

    b.  Roll your shoulders back.  Listen to your body.  If you feel tight in any area, see if you can take some deep breaths and relax that particular area.  IF you know some yoga stretches, definitely do some!! They will help bring heat and energy into your body.

   c.  Speaking of heat and energy, some of us have conditions that make our hands perspire when we are nervous.  If you have this, and are not taking any medication for it, be sure to take a nice clean handkerchief with you.   Nothing worse then shaking wet hands.

   d.  Remember that this is only an interview.  This is only a person (or people).  Yes, some of us have been out on the job market awhile or perhaps you are just entering the job market.  If you are smart about finding out as much as you can about who you are and where you excel and follow the steps above, you will find or even create job opportunities for yourself when you need them.

Finally, I’m reading a great book that I highly recommend by Larry Ackerman called “The Identity Code: The 8 Essential Questions for Finding Your Purpose And Place in the World“…..he has written some newer books as well. Check him out, he really knows what he is talking about.