Friend and fellow Coach Kathy Caprino sent out a newsletter this week with a twist for Mother’s Day which I really liked. Here’s an excerpt from it:

Mother’s Day for many is a time of honoring and appreciating our mothers and what they have done and given for us.  This week, I wonder too if each of us could take some time to appreciate how we have mothered (and fathered) others and our own lives; how we have nurtured, cared for and brought our own selves into being.

So often we focus on what isn’t going well, or how we are flawed as individuals and parents, but we rarely hug ourselves and say “Job well done!”  When we do allow in some praise, it’s usually because others have given us recognition for something outward we’ve done. 

I’d like suggest we take part in a new tradition this weekend of being grateful for ourselves as well as for those who have nurtured our dreams into being.

Kathy’s suggestion for us to take part in a new tradition of being grateful for ourselves (as well as for those who have nurtured our dreams into being) is especially appealing because it hits to the core of my beliefs and values.   I believe that we truly cannot fully give love or gratitude to others until we learn to love and appreciate ourselves.  Yes, perhaps this is something that can happen simultaneously; however, loving and appreciating ourselves is right there in the mix as a prime ingredient.

If we were to “mother” ourselves (and for some of us we may have to create a whole new concept of what that means), what would that feel like?  What would your ideal mother do for you?  Would she listen to your problems and give you soothing answers? Would she remind you to take care of yourself, to eat healthy, to get enough sleep, to go for a walk?  In many of the 12-step meeting rooms that I’ve sat in over the years, I’ve heard of people firing their concept of God/Higher Power and borrowing a belief from another or recreating a new one.  Why can’t we learn to replace some of the negative voices in our head (I mean, I have plenty so I assume most of us have at least one or two!) with at least one that is soothing and supportive.

Learning to change our minds from negative thought patterns over to at least neutral, if not positive, isn’t easy. As one of my coaching clients is discovering, it takes concentrated effort and constancy, but it can be done.  You can listen to a recent interview I had with prolific author and expert therapist Dr. Eric Maisel by going to BTR’s Hope42Day to some tips about how to evolve how your think.

So this weekend when many of us are sending cards, chocolates and flowers…let’s remember to be grateful for ourselves too.

Happy Mother’s Day, y’all!