NEXT086 Connecting On A Deeper Level

Posted on : 16-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Heart Talks

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Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you’ve probably heard or read something about “Occupy Wall Street” or “Occupy–insert-your-home-town-here”.  I just read an interesting blog today about Occupy Los Angeles by Ryan Torok.  I think this might be one of my favorite write ups about Occupy info thus far because it reveals a response to our question “what the hell are all these people talking about” re: Occupy insert-name-here.  I’ll leave it to you to read Ryan’s blog or watch his video interview to get the message.

Out of the five definitions I found for the word “occupy” on Dictionary.com, my favorite was this one:

to engage or employ the mind, energy, or attention of: Occupy the children with a game while I prepare dinner.
For me, the good news about the groups of people who are Occupying various cities in peaceful protest is that we are finally hearing the beginnings of a collective grumbling in response to how our lives, minds, spirits, hearts, etc. have been occupied in ways that we would like to make different.  The aspect of some of the viewpoints of the people occupying now, the one where they want to  blame someone, (i.e. corporations, authority, political parties, “them”) I dont’ agree with because I know that when I am coming from a place of pointing the finger at someone else for my problems, then I am choosing to take on the mantle of v i c t i m.  Somehow or another, you and I have ended up here at this time, in this life, doing what we are doing in our day-to-day living by a series of choices.  The good thing is that a whole lot of us are waking up to what we want in life (connection, love, love, love) it’s just that there are a whole lot of distractions that we’ve built along the way to confuse us from our goal.
I will close this post with a poem by the great Sufi Master, Hafiz in his book “The Gift” (translated by Daniel Ladinsky).  It is called, “She Responded”.
The birds’ favorite song
You do not hear,
For their most flamboyant music takes place
When their wings are stretched
Above the trees.
And they are smoking the opium
of pure freedom.
It is healthy for the prisoner
to have faith.
That one day he will again move about
Wherever he wants,
Feel the wondrous gift of life—
Less structured,
Find all wounds, debts stamped cancelled,
Paid.
I once asked a bird,
” How is it that you fly in this gravity
Of darkness?”
She responded
“Love lifts
Me.”

NEXT085 The Gum Scaling Procedure From Hades!

Posted on : 13-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Heart Talks

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For those of you who may be ignorant to the whole scaling of the gums procedure, it is when the Periodontist cleans your teeth and gums down to the root. Usually, such as my case for example, your dental hygienist/dentist will recommend that you visit a Periodontist for their opinion if you’ve got some deep pockets (where the gum  pocket is deep and exposed around the tooth).

Why, you may be asking, is this Life Coach blogging about a gum scaling procedure from hell?  Well, I would reply, that is such a good question.  One of the topics of coaching that comes up almost immediately is “how well are you caring for yourself”.  You might be surprised to know how many people, very successful, intelligent, competent people, who do not care for themselves….very….well.  One area that very busy executives can allow to slip by is their teeth.  Now once you’ve realized the error of your ways and get into a regular dental regime of brushing twice a day and flossing at least once a day plus getting your teeth cleaned by a professional twice a year…..well….let me put it this way…you become hyper sensitive to those around you who do not. I won’t even go into the kissing part…bleh, bleh! bleh!!!

For some of us, in spite of having good dental hygiene, you may have been dealt the cards for naturally poor teeth or gums like I have been.  I haven’t had to worry about deep pockets for at least 8 years, so I’ve been lucky.  I don’t know why when my hygienist recommended the Periodontist this time, that I didn’t remind her of the good one that I had seen previously. But I didn’t and I trusted their judgment.  Besides, the Office Manager said he was really cute!    How did things end up going down hill for me?  Well, for one thing the two Halcion tablets that they gave me before the procedure didn’t seem to be effecting me in the slightest (I was able to read an entire four pages about Steve Jobs in Time Magazine) so the assistant gave me one more.

The next thing I knew, I had my face completely covered except for my mouth and the Periodontist was shooting Novocaine into my gums. Now, I admit, the Dentist I’ve been going to for at least twenty years now is really, really good and spoils his patients wonderfully but I don’t remember the Periodontist telling me he was going to shoot my gums, nor did he gently give a little bit to numb the area at first and then give the deeper one.  Plus, he didn’t tell me that I was going to feel a tug.  It was very uncomfortable.  At one point I remember trying to grab his hand so he couldn’t hurt me anymore and him telling me (nicely) not to grab his hand and me telling him I wanted to hit him because he was hurting me.  Then I told him that he might want to watch how my Dentist does it because he never hurts me.  Okay, I know that was like committing hari kari suicide with this Periodontist. In fact, no one from his office has called to check up on me 24 hours later….

I’m sharing this with you dear readers not to scare you away from taking care of yourselves but rather to encourage you to ask a whole lot of questions of the doctor/periodontist before you have a procedure so that you can get a feel for them and then LISTEN TO YOUR GUT (or your heart, or mind) and pay attention to any little inklings that you get.

Oh, and they gave me some pain medication to take after the procedure that caused me to throw up bile twice this morning.  Not sure what that was about except that when I googled the medication it did say if you feel nauseous when taking it to take it with food.  Really, though I don’t seem to need any kind of pain medication today.  So that’s good.  I’ll give that to the Periodontist. My Australian Shepherd was beside himself trying to figure out how to help me as I retched into the commode.  Luckily, he has never seen me sick!

I’m happy to say that the doctors who I see for my general upkeep are excellent and make me feel cared for and heard.  I also realize that because they are  so good they have helped me to raise my standards in terms of medical care.  And that’s a good thing.  Hold out for the good ones but go see them when you find them.

Who do you need to make an appointment with today?

NEXT084 And Another Thing About Getting Older

Posted on : 11-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Creativity

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If you’re reading this and you’re younger than 50, you may want to review in your mind what you understand getting older is all about and discard those beliefs that leave you feeling negative about life.  Just get rid of those now to make room for new, better beliefs that help you feel even better about yourself than you already plan to feel.  For those beliefs that you just feel “eh” about, put them into a safe cubby hole in your head labeled “for further investigation” that you can take out to ponder every now and again when the time is right for you to decide what is a “keeper” and what can be let go.

Getting older is a total trip.  There really isn’t a good way to explain it to anyone who isn’t the age you are when you’re explaining what it’s like to be older except for those people who are your age.  I mean, when I think about the times my Mom and Dad used to tell me that even though there were xx age, they felt like they were 12 or 16,  I just kind of smiled at them and didn’t really get what they were saying at all.  Today at 53, I totally grok what they were saying.  I’m very grateful that I live in a day and age where I can get away with hopping up on to a brick wall and balance-walking to the end of it if I feel so inspired.  Partly because I can physically do it and mostly because I so don’t care what anyone’s opinion is of me doing it.  It’s great to be free from worrying about what other people think of me…..most of the time.

It’s a startling occurrence when our bodies first begin to show signs of aging, such as the tell tale signs on our faces.  I’ll never forget the first time I was flying down the highway in my red convertible at the age of 42 and just happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the side mirror.   It was pretty sobering when I caught the image of a  middle-aged woman instead of the young 20 something girl that I felt like in my heart and soul.    My husband kids me all the time for being so vain about my wrinkles—and he’s probably right—but we woman have been steeped in worrying about how we look for so many years, it’s hard to break the habit.  Not that it is wrong to want to look attractive; however, many of my male friends around the same age are certainly not as focused on their looks as I am on mine.  At least those guy friends of mine who are self-realized and have done a lot of working on their psyches.

Here’s another great thing about getting older that I don’t remember learning about when I was younger and that is how much fun it is to realize that you know more than you may have thought you knew.  For instance, I’m back in school and who knew that I would be one of the, if not THE, biggest blabber mouth in political science class? Certainly not me.  Especially when we’re covering dry subjects like taxes and the economy.  It’s also nice to know so much more about broadcast communication then I had any idea I knew and to have a real connection with the professor because we’re about the same age.  In fact, I’m going to meet with him next week to talk with him about changing my major from the very boring Bachelor of Arts and Sciences track (cuz that’s what they recommend returning non-traditional students to take) to Mass Communications.  I mean, I don’t have any grandiose vision that I am going to  the next Katie Couric by the time I graduate, but life is just way too short  to be taking classes that you don’t relish. Thank you Mom, thank you Kat.

I hope that if you are older that you realize that you can reset whatever negative thoughts or beliefs you’re carrying around about being older. They probably are really not true or they could use a real good editing job.  And if you’re younger and reading this, well hallelujah enjoy your life as it unfolds! It only gets better, really it does.

Remember, we humans are just 80% bags of water.  Might as well swim through life while we can and enjoy the journey along the way!

NEXT083 Occupy Yourself!

Posted on : 10-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Leadership, Mind Fodder

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Occupy Yourself.  Sound a little flip?  I bet if we had the ability to measure our souls on a meter, a good percentage of  our meters would read that we have our souls way outside of our bodies instead of minding the ship in our minds, hearts and bods. We probably “assume” that there is just an automatic pilot button that clicks on to operate our bodies when we’re out of them. And for many of us we’ve been able to get away with living kind of untethered to our world but some of us do get caught—-remember that lady in the YouTube video falling in the fountain?  Her soul must have been way outside of her body if you ask me.

 

of texting and all the technical things we do now days to “stay in touch”, we’re really not.  Which may sound hypocritical for this blogger to be writing but I really don’t text that much even though I write quite a bit.  Okay, I admit one of the reasons is because I do not have very great fine motor dexterity so it turns out it’s much easier to just pick up the phone and call someone then to text them.  But there is something about talking with someone either face-to-face or over the phone that keeps me more in my body then when I  text.   Think about it,  if you’re uncomfortable with having to say something to someone so much so that you would rather text them then you’re missing a great opportunity to get to know yourself better by inquiring within to find out why you are feeling so uncomfortable.  That and getting to connect with another human being by using your voice.   It’s not a good thing to allow your voice to go on automatic pilot. Trust me, I’ve tried it and the craziest things end up rattling off of my tongue.

Today the PoliSci Professor talked about taxes in the U.S. and economic theories. He also threaded his own conservative view points in and out of various facts he was teaching us about taxes.  It was pretty scary to be sitting there and hearing only a handful of other voices, other than my own, asking questions and expressing varying points of view.  Granted, when I was the age that most of my fellow classmates are now, I can’t think of a more boring class that I could have taken back then than taxes.  But today it is relevant to me.  And for the handful of classmates sharing their voices, it is relevant to them too.  I bet they’re mostly occupying themselves.  Can’t make a difference in what is going on in the world if you don’t pay attention to what is going on around you and learn what your opinions are, how you feel and where you stand when it comes to weighty subjects such as the economy and taxes (just to name a few).

I was a good 15 years older than many of my classmates before it ever dawned on me to wonder what companies our 401K monies were going to for investments. Did I believe in them?  Were our values in alignment with each other? And I was only aware of these questions because I happened to be in a job that employed a lot of social workers who asked these kind of questions. Get to know yourself well and understand how you tick so that when you do put all of your energy into a direction for a purpose it is laser sharp aligned and can make a difference.   There is something very “victim y” about putting the blame on corporations, other people, etc. etc. (I’m guilty of this too) instead of knowing yourself so well that you can purposefully point yourself into a direction with an outcome in mind.  Then you don’t have to wait for others to come to your rescue. Instead you have others running to catch up with you to align their mission with yours.

Give yourself the gift of reconnecting with yourself…..Occupy Yourself! Where will you say “I can” next?

NEXT082 Get Lost!

Posted on : 09-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Communication, Featured, Uncategorized

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A few years back when I was a technical recruiter, we’d get a few consultants who had been around for awhile and weren’t keen on giving away much information on themselves. One guy refused to give out his social security number.   At that time, I remember having empathy for them and respect for their privacy but I didn’t think much more about it. Except, of course, when their requests hindered me from being able to do my job (like turn in paperwork to prove they were U.S. Citizens, etc.) and then I thought of them as pains in my glutemous.

 

It rained most of the day today which gave my hubby and I a great reason to hunker down and watch movies. One of them was “Erasing David”  which is documentary about privacy, surveillance and the database state.   Having grown up in a household with a father who had a job with, shall we say, “the government”….I felt that the main character of the documentary sure did a lousy job of trying not to be found for 30 days (he was found after 18).  For one thing, he threw away basic documents such as bus and train tickets that any good investigator would find after going through his trash.

The documentary did ask a good question to make us ponder about just how much information we put out there on a daily basis that can be used to invade our privacy.  Not to mention how we live fairly transparent lives in the online world where many of us ignore the fact that people, artificial intelligence, and search engines are collecting all kinds of data on us all the time and storing it for future use.  Hope I’m not making you paranoid but rather helping you to think about what kind of information you’re giving and who is using it.

As much as I want to be recognized for my writing and things I do to try to help make this world a better place, there is also a part of me who understands how vulnerable we all are by revealing so much of ourselves and hoping for the best.  I’m grateful we didn’t have access to the internet, texting or social networks when I was younger because I know I would have left very inappropriate blueprints of myself all over the place. Besides, it did my soul good to find relief by staring at the clouds floating by overhead instead of texting or dropping down the rabbit hole to find relief from my teenage anxt.

Anyway, as you can see the paranoid side of my brain got stimulated today!  I do have just a little bit more empathy for friends of mine who live very public lives and crave their privacy, especially those who are married to spouses who scramble for the spotlight.

If you could get lost and go anyplace in the world today, where would you go and why? (hypothetically speaking of course!)

 

NEXT081 Asking The Unseen For Help

Posted on : 08-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Communication

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Asking the unseen for help, oy vey.  We’ve been trying to tell each other what that means since we found the  ability to communicate.  Some call it faith, some call it wishing, some call it accessing your inner voice, still others call it asking for help from forces/guides/angels/ancestors that we cannot see.  For me, it’s pieces and and a combination of all of that plus the added belief that there may also be an untapped part of our brains that is only accessed by directly asking “it” for help.  Similarly to thinking of our brain as being a computer such as Hal on 2001 Space Odyssey or the computer on Star Trek

I’ve been trying a new technique at night if I wake up and begin thinking/ruminating on something that needs to be handled instead of laying awake for hours, I  ask my guides for support and further request that the answers be given to me subconsciously or unconsciously and revealed to me in dreams or upon awakening. So far it’s worked like a champ to get me back to sleep fairly quickly.

I learned from my friend, Shannon Ogg–who is a channeler, healer and Reikki Master, to ask for my “whole team” when I’m asking for help.  I’m finding that the unseen help seems to be activated by having a strong belief that help is always there and all we have to do is ask.  But we also need to take actions to helping ourselves as well.  I ask for help all the time about all kinds of things.  Some of my requests are as basic as asking for help in resolving a problem on my computer.  For instance, I’ve created this part time job of selling my friend Kim’s gorgeous lighting (Illuminaries Lighting) which is made right here in our fair city of Austin, Texas.  It has taken me weeks to admit that the very simple task of forwarding emails to me from the illuminaries email address to my gmail address is overwhelming.  Part of my brain could not admit that I could not grasp the basics of getting the password, popmail etc. done.  So, I asked for help from the unseen  And what I got was a very calm voice in my head instructing me on what to do from how to open up my email and get into the account settings to then, once I was there, calling the tech support guy to ask one more time for what I needed to do.   Finally, today I was able to follow through with the instructions and now am receiving forwarded emails from my illuminaries account.

As with many things in this life curriculum, the first step is to admit that we need help.  Seems really simple doesn’t it?  Well, I don’t know about you but for me sometimes it is actually the really simple things that I need help with that feel so impossible to admit.  Give me the big stuff like car problems or needing a ride to the doctor and I can ask for help.  But give me something that I think I “should” know how to do or grasp the instructions right off the bat and it might take me quite a long time before it occurs to me that perhaps asking for help is a good solution.

As much as we think we know about the human brain and how it works, we are still so new at it.  I’ve been told by, heard or read by many teachers, masters and prophets that the human being is really one of the (if not “the”) most incredible beings that has ever been created.  For many years I balked at that idea because I didn’t like the way many people said that out of one side of their mouths and then treated people, nature and the planet out of the other side.  It has only dawned on me recently that perhaps a fully self-realized human being would be one who would interact with all life respectfully and in harmony.

That idea opens up all kinds of possibilities for the unseen helping us along our journey to waking up.

How will you ask the unseen for help?

NEXT080 Superstitions

Posted on : 06-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Mind Fodder

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One of the things I appreciated about the story of Billy Beane (Oakland A’s General Manager) as depicted in the movie, “Moneyball”  is how he handles his  superstition  about effecting the outcome of the game if he is on-site rather than in the underground gym watching it on the screens.  Boy can I sure relate to that belief.  Early on in my therapeutic exploration of my past, they called my idea of making sure everything happened perfectly the way my eleven year old brain wanted it to, by touching every other fence post and hopping over all the lines on the sidewalk, as bordering on obsessive/compulsive.

And I swear whenever I deign to watch a Cowboy’s game with my little brother, they slide into losing until I leave the room. I have to be out of the room for them to win—hence I do not watch anymore Cowboy Games (but they still lose!)

Perhaps a good healthy does of superstitions is a way for us to listen/see our fears in a creative way that we can process and digest but taken too extremes, of course, it can get in our way.  Take for example that I am offering a weekend retreat (December 16-18, 2011) at one of my favorite places outside of Wimberley, Texas (The Red Corral Ranch) to explore my friend and best-selling author Janet Conner’s book, “Writing Down Your Soul“.  I love this book and the process and when I offered some weekly meetings a year ago to explore the book–people loved it!

Well, the superstition enters in because although I have had some very successful and fun retreats throughout the past ten years (I believe retreats are so important to offer women to take a rest!)  because of one lone retreat where I got in over my head due to the cost of the accommodations and had to PAY to attend MY OWN retreat….I have not offered one for the past 2 or 3 years until now.  Almost immediately upon announcing this retreat and inviting people to attend, I began hearing from those who wanted to join me.  In fact, I already have one person paid in full already (all that is requested now is to turn in the $75 deposit and pay the remainder by November 16) to cover the cost of the accommodations and the retreat itself.

But I’m having that Dallas Cowboy game kind of a feeling about returning to those people who said they were interested to  button that up with them (you know, giving them detailed info about the hows and wheres etc.).  Can you imagine if CEOs of companies out there allowed themselves to be swayed by their superstitions?!  Some might fare well in spite of themselves, but I doubt very many would thrive with the restriction of superstitions.

It’s great when a person like me can make connections about cause and effect and see above, beyond and around what many cannot in order to connect the dots. However, when the connections are taken too far off in any direction….well, it is no different then if I had photo shopped my own imagination.

How about you? Do you ever allow superstitions to get in your way?

NEXT 079 Here’s To A Job Well-Done, Steve

Posted on : 05-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Leadership

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What makes a good leader in the business world? Someone who is highly creative, intuitive and also has a good balance of the other side of their brain for seeing their vision through, being able to hire the right people who can take care of the finances in creating and running the company as well as making the product or delivering the service.  A great leader is someone who can weather the political climate of their company as it grows and changes as well as the political company of the country within which they are located.  I remember a brilliant former boss used to say “I hire people much smarter than me to get the job done”. I used to think he was feigning humility but as I live longer in this world I realize that he was telling the truth and that tactic is a very smart one to create a great company.

A couple of years ago I was returning from a conference in Boston and befriended one of the fellow attendees. Turns out that she had been a personal assistant to Steve Jobs.  She had a lot of respect for him.  Yes, he could be a task master and yes he could be hyper focused about the work at hand. But she said, “he was fair with his employees” and that he never asked more from her than he would do himself.  She also said that he rewarded generously.

Steve Jobs and Apple made a big mark across the globe.  I go to sleep by the din of my husband’s iPad every night as he peruses articles etc.  I remember having to learn how to use an Apple II way back when I was working for a local University.  I couldn’t understand why the hard disks were called floppy disks.  Then I moved to another job in the publishing industry that used PC’s (except for the art department where they were using Quark) and at least a decade more of other jobs all using the PC and Word.  And now I’m out on my own and typing this blog using a MacBook Pro.

Still, I wonder why so many of us are “feeling” the passing of Steve so keenly tonight.  There are big changes happening right now in the world, perhaps we feel untethered without a visionary who says things like the following at conferences to inspire us:

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

Here’s to you Steve Jobs, for a job very well done.  Rest in Peace.

NEXT078 “And Here’s To You Mrs. Robinson”

Posted on : 04-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Mind Fodder

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The song that played in my head today as I walked out of  the broadcast programming class into a sea of students was “Mrs. Robinson“.  Some of us who were over zealous with bravado volunteered ourselves last week to sign up to create a “Pitch” for a show that would fit into the time slot of another show that had been yanked  (Big Brother—because our class voted it off).  I’ve been toying around with the idea of writing a pitch for a show revolving around an older (really older!) returning student etc. etc.

Of course you know that song by Simon & Garfunkel came from the movie, “The Graduate” but did you also know that Ann Bancroft, who played Mrs. Robinson, was only 36 to Dustin Hoffman’s 30?!  Okay, so it’s really funny to me that I’m older than Ann was then!  And yet, here I am in a time of my life when I feel more confident than I’ve ever felt before. I made the decision this year to let my hair grow as long as it wants to grow.    For years many people knew me for my hair or “my mane” as they would call it.

In my early twenties, my locks conspired with the Texas humidity to kidnap me and take control of my life (I didn’t go to a stylist and certainly didn’t know about “products”) which made me very self-conscious.  One of my co-workers at the time used to describe me walking down the hallway at work as “there goes Lynn and her hair” as if my hair was its own separate entity.  I was convinced that if I cut my hair to my shoulders, let’s say, that it would have surely kinked up so that I looked like a giant human Q-tip walking down the street.   So I bore the burden of unruly hair.  When it was “good” hair, it was very good hair but when it was bad….

 

Then when I hit my forties, the voices of the shoulds got ever so loud in my head.  When you’re 40 something “you should” cut your hair into an appropriate style, “you should” not be overtly sensuous, “you should” be sophisticated or glamorous or at least professional and for heaven’s sakes “you should” be contained.  So, I cut my hair to above my shoulders. But I felt like Samson loosing his mane.  It was like my hair was my own very special “pet” that helped define my spirit and now that pet had been stuck inside of a kennel never to see the light of day again.

Well, if the 40’s is the decade of listening to the shoulds then my 50’s are turning out to be the decade of “why not?!”

I’m breaking all kinds of real and perceived “rules” such as returning to school to complete a degree I recklessly abandoned years ago…just because!   And I’m letting my hair grow out and, oh by the way, I curl it and let it fluff out.  It’s actually been complimented by a couple of students, and of course, my friends–which is nice but I don’t have to have anyone’s approval today to be who I want to be.

So there I was wearing a great outfit today that my mom-in-law bought me at a fine Israeli boutique with all my hair hanging down my back and instead of feeling like an invading grandmother in class, I felt a little bit like Mrs. Robinson only better because I know how to put that secret smile on my own face today.

How about you?  Where are you standing up and out by just being “you”?

NEXT077 That Pull Of A High School Reunion …. Many Years Later!

Posted on : 03-10-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Heart Talks

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Today I am older, much older than the age my father was when he came to my graduation from boarding school.    In fact, it wasn’t until the last decade or two that I could even begin to understand what my parents were going through in their lives back when I was a nubile 18 year old. You know how it is when you’re that age…..there is nothing quite as important as being with the person you pine for—and for me it was about spending as little time as I could with the adults.

Boarding school had a deeper spin to it then partly because it was the first school that I had spent more than a year at since elementary school and mostly because I lived with my friends for three years.  You can imagine that we all went through a very tender part of our growing up years together.  And, for me, I totally focused on my peers and did not get very close to many of the adults although I certainly could have. When I tell my story in recovery meetings, I liken my boarding school experience to being similar to “Lord of the Flies”.  It was also a time period (mid-70’s) when we were able to get away with a lot even though the school was religious AND military for the boys. I returned to school years later to talk with the woman who had been the Dean of girls at the time (and who I adored) about how we could have gotten away with so much and she said that they just were very ignorant and naive about what was going on in the world back when we were kids.

Even with all the good and not so good memories, over the years as I’ve come to know myself and accept myself for who I am with all the bells and whistles, reunions have had a push pull effect on me.  I love seeing people who I haven’t seen in years and catching up with who they are now and how their lives have turned out but at the same time there are some that I have no interest in knowing at all.  I also feel quite a bit different from many of my friends from back then. I had no idea that they were so conservative and I was so independent!!  Who thought of politics back then? Certainly not me. I just followed what my father believed because I respected him so much.  Didn’t give it a second thought until I was out on my own.

And then there are the friends who I loved and still love but who are still in to heavy drinking and even some “partying” as they like to call it with other imbibing accessories.  Really?!?!  It’s a good reminder for me of where I’ve come from. After all, it was after our five year reunion when returned to the local liquor store to buy some supplies that the owner recognized me from when we used to sneak across town to purchase liquor. I’m sure they thought we were college kids back then.  I was the one who would egg all my friends on to go get something to drink before a dance at school or to  just “take one more”. There used to be a restaurant on the edge of town that made delicious homemade/natural comfort food and served really good beer in pitchers.  Somehow, I got away with getting the taxis to take us out there and back without turning us in.  It’s just today there is so many interesting things to learn about and ideas to explore that I want all my brain particles working as best I can.

Going back to high school reunions is a pull for me because as mixed a bag of nuts as we were back then, all those kids and teachers and adults were my “family” for three years of my life.   I have kept a few of my friends from back then in my life today because they are people who I want to know even if we hadn’t shared our high school years together.

But just like family, when we’re good solid adults way into our adulthood, we get to choose who we spend our time with because “time” is precious.  It’s an opportunity for us to accept who we are and also accept who everyone else is as well.   Luckily, I’m in a very good marriage so I certainly am not looking to get laid and I don’t drink or do drugs so I’m not looking to score.  I really like my life today, so I’m not looking for a fantasy weekend get-away.  I suppose one of the reasons I still want to go to my high school reunion is because I want to understand who I was back then and who everyone else was too. It’s a time to compare notes about our experiences to fill in the missing puzzle pieces. After all, someday I just may get that screenplay written about my life story!

How about you?  If you feel a pull to go to your high school reunion, why do you? What is that pull?