Have you ever had one of those days where, in your own mind at least, everyone and everything seems to suck?  Well, I had one of those days yesterday.  And I’m someone who has done a lot of “work” on myself, spiritually, emotionally, physically and continue to do work on myself so that I can approach life and be in life at the highest level of which I am capable. Beyond not stepping on bugs.  Beyond being kind to someone when I’d rather push them out of my way.

Beyond the cave woman who curls up inside of the reptilian part of my brain.

I know that I’m clearly “having one of those days” when I immediately feel the denseness that darker energies can bring.  You know those heavy gray vests/covers that the radiologist puts across you before they take an x-ray of you? That’s how it feels inside and outside of my body.  While in that place, I become an observer of the dark thoughts swirling throughout my brain trying to convince me that it is real. That this dark time is the way that it has always been and always will be.  Almost as if some part of my unconscious has awoken like a zombie, I can hear it responding with ideas like “why am I still here in this life?”, “why do I keep trying”, etc.

It’s times like this that it helps me to laugh into the dark which is not an easy thing to do because I barely have enough energy to rouse even the idea of laughing much less the desire.  Just enough for the “H” towards the “Ha”. So I turn to those people who are close to me who share this awareness of the light and dark and are also highly sensitive.  If I’m lucky, sometimes I’ll come across someone who is also in the same place as I am and who also works as hard at showing up for life as I do because then we can really laugh into the pit of the darkness.

Yesterday it was my mom.  The more I could make her howl with laughter at the pitifulness of the place I was in, the more I dug in for more until finally all the dark was cleared out and the lighter energy could roll in like low lying clouds folding into the center of a volcano.  There’s nothing quite like being able to say to someone, “I hate that I do so many good things in life and NOBODY KNOWS” and have them laugh and laugh and laugh with you.

This morning when I spoke with my mentor I was reminded that when the dark energies invade my space I can ask them/it to leave.  And I know this but there is something wickedly good about laughing the dark out of existence as well.  It’s all an illusion.

The energies that we take in and give off are amazingly powerful so learning how to recognize and deal with them are sometimes a matter of life and death but often times just a matter of enjoying life or falling for the charade.

Laughing when you’re in that dark place seems almost like an impossibility…and I say almost because I’ve experienced laughing into the dark many times so I know that it is possible.  But if you can even allow one little wheel of the laughter roller coaster into your consciousness, the other wheels will fall into place and before you know it your laughing your way out of the tunnel and up into the light.  You can imagine how my mom and I howled into fits of unstoppable laughter while as we were talking giant rain clouds were moving into Austin and popping up on Facebook were recounts from friends about all the rain they were getting while we in our rain-starved neighborhood got nary a sprinkle.  The situation just seemed to perfectly illustrate the desperate place I was feeling about life that morning and thank God for some reason, it was absolutely hilarious to us both.

Remember: when you’re in that dark place, it is just an illusion.  Laughter is one way to dissolve the density.  Even if you have to fake laughing until you’re really laughing, do it…that in itself can be funny and start gathering friends around you who can also laugh into the dark.