DINK #302 How To Unlock Your “Real” Personality

Posted on : 26-01-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized


What is your “real” personality?  I mean, if you were in the safest environment that you could find or if your temperament calls for it—the most invigorating environment….how would “you” show up?

Figuring out how to unlock my real personality is something that I have been working and fiddling at for years.  In my case, for a good many years I was completely outwardly focused which meant that I looked to the people around me (into their eyes, searching the nuances of their faces, bracing myself against the slightest quiver of a lip for their reaction to me) to see how I was doing.  I had no real sense of who I was.  Probably when I was a really young child, I knew what my favorite color was but then the onslaught of adolescence and puberty hit and many individual preferences got muted into the background of my mind.  Today I can tell you what colors I love  (there are many!) and that my color preferences change every day depending on how I’m feeling about the day, not because of what someone else says.
The first step to unlocking the “real” you is to be willing to listen to that still small voice within you to learn how the “real” you wants to respond.   For instance, I have a lot of energy and am the biggest dancer (in my socks on our bare tile floors) around our casa; however, I am very reticent about dancing like I do in front of my dogs….in front of other people.  So, I’ve learned to enjoy and let loose with that part of me who likes to choreograph and “pretend’ entire dance routines around my house without judging or negating myself because I don’t want to do this in front of others (like some of my friends who are professional dancers, singers and actors).

The second step which really goes hand-in-hand with the first step is to ACCEPT who it is that you understand that you are today. You may change something about yourself tomorrow, but who are you today?  I know that I am someone who loves to make people laugh.  I am pretty shameless about finding ways to make my friends laugh especially if we’re all sitting around a big table playing games.  For the longest time, I would not share this side of my personality except with a handful of friends because I was so scared that I would come off as a big dork.  Well, now I wear my “dork” title proudly and feel especially fulfilled when everyone at the table is laughing, being silly and letting loose to have a good time.  The clown inside of me knows she has done her job well.

Some of the intermediary steps to unlocking your “real” personality (because the list goes on through infinity) include but are not limited to:

  • taking “quiet” time or meditation time each day to still your mind and body so that all the knowledge and wisdom that has been swirling within and about you can settle down for you to absorb;
  • write down your experiences, impressions, insights that you have gotten each day at night before you go to sleep.  This doesn’t have to be a painful and arduous process, keep it simple. Just allow yourself this time and method to record what you are noticing about how you experience your life;
  • Although there are some pretty good personality assessments out there that will help you to see what some of your traits are please keep in mind that these assessments are only as good as the person who is translating what they mean to you and neither the test nor the person explaining the results is worth a hill of beans if you’re not paying attention to your head, heart or gut reaction;
  • Pay attention to how you feel/think about a song, book, movie, concert, etc.  Although I enjoy all kinds of music, there is some music (Opera) that no matter how much other people tout it…I just am never going to enjoy it like I do other kinds of music. And that’s okay. I want to keep my mind open to new information and at the same time acknowledge in myself that I definitely have some preferences about the music I spend my time listening to.  Additionally, just because I can really be in the mood sometimes to listen to very intense rock music with sophisticated guitar riffs, drums etc.  there are certain outdoor events that showcase this same kind of music that I have absolutely NO desire to be part of.

There will be further blogging on this subject of how to unlock your real personality.  In the meantime, I hope there will be some good discussion on this point from y’all to share with us who you are and how you have come to understand your “real” personality.

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