DINK #296 Which Face Do You Put Forward?

Posted on : 16-01-2011 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized



Being in the middle of social and societal change is really interesting especially when everything and everyone, including yourself, is in process.  There is a saying in some Al-Anon literature that says, “change is inevitable but suffering is an option.”  Right now this saying is especially meaningful for me because it reminds me that I have no control over everything changing but I do have the choice to suffer or not.

If you are mid-career, in-between jobs and trying to find yourself, figuring out which face to put forward can be its own kind of rubric cube. And because there are so many of us out here at the same time figuring out where our place is in the world it is very easy to get confused on how to proceed.  Here are ten suggestions that I have found helpful that I hope are helpful for you as well:

1.) “Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you.” said Don Miguel Ruiz in his The Four Agreements. Remembering this can help you to take action when necessary and to sit quiet when it isn’t.

2.) Help people to discover you. We can assume that a hundred+ resumes are being submitted for every job opening.  Distinguish yourself from the herd by showing that you have paid attention to what they need for the job as well as what they think they need.

3.) Pay attention to how you communicate with others. Remember to listen, ask questions and think about what you want to say and then say it.

4.) When submitting your resume for a position as best as you can use the same language and communication style of the posting for the job. Don’t take it for granted that the first receiver of your resume can extrapolate your experience and history to see that you are the perfect fit. Be careful of jargon words that you may have used in one job that will be like a foreign language to others outside of your sphere.

5.) Before an interview research, research, research, about the company, their product/service and their mission. It’s very attractive for a prospective employee to show their interest in the company when they research what it is about.  Sprinkle your interview with questions throughout but make sure they are well thought out and the more you can join what you understand about the company with your experience—the better!

6.) Understand how and why some people may be prejudice about you and head them off at the pass. I’ve been a Professional Career and Life Coach since 2001.  I’ve coached hundreds of professionals, entrepreneurs, artists and others.  Before becoming a Coach, I was an Associate Partner for a company where I wore many hats which included recruiting and account management. The good news is that I can do many things with many different kinds of people; the prejudice can happen when people don’t understand the skills, talents and training it took to do these positions. It is my responsibility to help others to understand what I’ve done and help them to translate this into how I can help them with what they need–now.

7.) Discover how others see you. Your good friends, colleagues, and family will be happy to tell you how you come across to them. Listen to what they have to say and weigh this with what you know to be true about yourself.  I have been told by countless people that I would be good leading seminars/groups and inspirational speaking.  I know this about myself because I’ve been speaking in front of groups for years, often free of charge.  What I have to do now is to merge how others see me with how I see myself to understand how to take my next action step.

8.) Clean up nicely!! I know, I know this should be obvious, right?  Wrong. You can’t imagine how some people show up for their lives much less interviews.  When you are looking for a job, every time you step out of your house you could meet someone who could hire you or introduce you to someone who could.  Groom yourself well, wear clean clothes and keep a positive countenance because you are a walking billboard for yourself.

9.) Treat others as you would have them treat you. You are your own Ambassador so pay attention to how well you treat others.  Don’t gossip, don’t complain and/or whine and don’t belittle yourself or others.  Be your own golden rule.

10.) Trust the process, trust the process, trust the process. For some of us, you will get hired very quickly in your job hunting process and for others of us this process may feel like an endless road to hell.  For whatever reason (that hopefully we will discover soon) we’re not getting hired right away.  Trusting the process is one way that I’ve learned how to keep going and to not give up.  Review your day at the end of each day and make any changes you think are necessary.  Be humble and willing to ask for help from others.  Eventually you will find a job, it may not be the ultimate job that you were hoping for right off the bat….but it could be the first job in line to get you where you want to go.  Don’t give up and trust the process.

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