DINK #226 Easy Is Good Too!

Posted on : 02-11-2010 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized


One aspect that I love about being in school is that the really good Profs will challenge your beliefs. They’ll shake you out of your comfort zone so that you really have to look inside and get in touch with what is real about you.  Lately, I’ve been getting in touch with the fact that “easy” is almost like a curse word to my brain.  If someone is “easy”, they’re a slut and not to be respected, if something comes particularly easy to me then I will discard it because everyone knows that the really great things in life take strife and effort, right?

Well, yes and no.

First we’d have to examine what we mean by strife and effort.  You’d think after all these years it would have occurred to me that the belief-makers in my life’s definition just may be very different from what my own definition would be. The definition I’ve been operating under of strife and effort is pretty drastic when I inspect it closely.  For example, you know the saying when someone says Fred Astaire was such a great dancer (and he was, one of my very favorites) but that Ginger Rogers did the same dancing backwards and in heels. Well, if I had been Ginger, I would have expected myself to not only be in heels but to be blindfolded and juggling knives at the same time.  That’s the level and intensity of strife and effort in my head.

Secondly, do I believe that the really good things only come to me through strife and effort? Well, I’ve had some really good things come to me in my life that sometimes called for me to stop my brain from editing it out of my life. I’ve had some really good things come to my life, like my husband, that have called for me to do a lot of counter intuitive behavior and to put into practice all of the information that I had been learning about for years about myself and relationships. It certainly wasn’t easy for me to do that, but I wasn’t blindfolded and juggling knives either.  I was just willing to walk through some very intense feelings that I used to run from.

Two things have occurred recently that have made me realize and accept some new ideas about easy being a good thing.  The first one is my writing.  I’ve always written, I love to write, I love to connect with others and help them to feel connected but I’ve never taken my writing to the next level, such as publishing a book because my writing has come easily to me.  I’d been borrowing from a whole lot of other people’s beliefs about writing taking a lot of strife and effort and because mine didn’t then I dismissed it.  Now, one thing I’ve learned is that I have to apply myself to a goal with my writing and create a structure for my writing but that’s more like accepting a container for my writing and also looking at it coming easily to me in a different way.

The other belief blaster that happened is my decision to focus my schooling towards a Bachelors of Social Work and a Masters in Social Work.  I have been told pretty much my whole life that I should become a therapist but because of my preconceived ideas of what it meant to be a social worker (and, by the way, I had an absolutely fantastic MSW-LCP-ACP for several years) I dismissed the idea of following this route for my career.  It’s kind of funny too because I have several friends who are therapists.  But this semester all my guides and angels convened for me to take an absolutely soul satisfying class with a Professor from the Social Work department and she would gently make a comment here and suggestion there about being happy to talk to me about Social Work and so finally last night I met with her.  I got all kinds of information and have set up an appointment with the BSW Director to find out how to switch horses in mid-stream and what I need to do. While we were talking last night I also noticed feeling kind of sick to my stomach.

I told my mom that’s how I felt when David asked me to marry him (sorry honey, I really do love you, you know I do). I was absolutely terrified at making such a huge decision and commitment but I knew in my gut that marrying him was the right decision and that’s kind of like how I feel about going this route for my education.

I don’t see myself being satisfied sitting across from one person helping them but I do see myself working with systems and groups and educating them etc. etc. etc. This is what I do.  Helping others is something that comes easily to me and so I used to disregard it because it came easily.

Easy is good.  Easy is good. Easy is good.  I feel like I’m more in alignment today with who I am and what I am capable of doing then I ever have before.

How do you look at “easy” in your life?   How do you define strife and effort?

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