Blog #26 When Saying Goodbye is the Right Thing to Do

Posted on : 16-04-2010 | By : Lynn | In : Uncategorized


I’m the dog on the Chinese Calendar. Dogs are loyal, dogs are tenacious, in fact we dogs will stick around with you and things long after the cats have split the scene.

But I’m also an Aries. And a whole bunch of other definitions of someone who is impulsive, creative, carefree and adventurous. Don’t like to be tied down. Get bored really easily. Frustrate easily too. When I was much younger (and single) I would always manage to select the kind of guy that had huge commitment issues so that then I didn’t have to be worried about being tied down and things would always be thrilling and when things did end, I could just blame it on them and their commitment issues. Yes, I was quite a piece of work back in my day.

These days I would like to think that my friends and colleagues think of me as someone they can count on. But someone they can count on who is also very creative, adventurous and willing to continue changing and growing. Still, though, sometimes it is difficult for me to say goodbye or to let things run their natural course of ending and morphing into something different.

This evening I got a phone call from one of a group of women I’ve been “meeting” with for a once a week phone call for several years now. She wanted to make sure that I was going to be on the phone for our next meeting because she wanted for us to all talk about our group taking a break, at least for the summer. She said that one of the talents of ending a group well (that she learned in Landmark) was to be able to end things on a high note rather than to let things peter out (passive-aggressively?). And as much as my heart was sad about our group which has gone through so many things together, I had to admit that my friend had a point. For the past several months at least one of the members has had one reason or another to not make the phone call. It is time for us to take a rest. Who knows, maybe we’ll take a look at things in the fall and realize we miss our group so much that we’ll reconvene. Or, maybe, we’ll go on to the next thing we’re going to get into. I know I’ll still keep in touch with each of these women, just not in the same way.

I’m such a freak when it comes to thinking of analogies to things sometimes, but what pops up in my mind about this saying goodbye stuff is our friend Wharf the Klingon from Star Trek. I can just see ole Wharf looking off into the distant horizon and saying that “Now is a good time to say good bye” (with, of course, the hint of a glimmer of a tear in his eye).

Don’t worry, I’ll still be here blogging. I’ve got another 74 of these to go at any rate! I’m just learning how to end things well and with grace when the time is right and saying goodbye is the right thing to do.

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