(currently posted on www.lifebeforebusiness.com)

The Universe flirts with me and it is most especially evident when I am caught in a sequence of “life lessons” that it (i.e. God, Spirit, Good Orderly Direction or something bigger than me) wants to make sure that I “get”.  This weekend, for example, I felt that I was made up of many elbows that kept getting hit right on the “funny bone” because when I  was aware of the unfolding of a “life lesson” it simultaneously hurt and was humorous.My big life lesson for the past few months seems to be that I must understand the gifts that I bring to this banquet of life and how to surf on the edge of being humble without falling off the side into depression and victim hood. I can be such an excellent victim when I want to be!  I suspect that for a long time now that I’ve chosen to fall over the edge of being humble to being a victim and therefore shunning many of the gifts and talents that I can use to serve the world—because I’m lazy.  It is much easier to for me to be hopeless then to soul surf on the edge of successful as I try to live the life before me as best as I can.

This weekend I led a women’s retreat that earned me the title of “Certified Retreat Coach” within a program that I’ve been a part of for three years.  I offered the retreat at a very swanky spa/retreat center in the Texas Hill Country at a reduced price so that people would be attracted to attend this because of its affordability.  I had many interested parties but in the end only four signed up when I had reserved the space for six. The result was that I ended up paying to attend my own retreat.  What I took away from this experience has been invaluable.  I was able to throw myself into the retreat and give my all to the women attending (as if there were more participants) so that each one walked away feeling satiated and content.  However, what I noticed inside of me during our twenty four hours was “THE STORY” that kept wanting to push it’s way into the middle of conversations (but didn’t) and that was THE STORY of how sad it was that I, Lynn Kindler, was not only NOT making any money on this retreat but I was also having to pay to attend my own retreat. That was when I hit the funny-bone-cluster. As a professional coach, I know that a retreat leader is there to lead and help the people attending to have a good experience. The weekend is for them and about them: it is not about me.  And so each time the urge to feel sorry for myself and vent my frustration came up, I wondered how many times in my non-retreat life I have spoken, lived, sung, THE STORY, the urge was so strong.  I wondered how dense THE STORY has been in my thoughts and feelings and how it may have impacted my life up until now.

Through all of this what I am ready to pounce on with all my might now is how I put myself out there to others.  I understand that I have spent a good portion of my life living for what I do NOT want in my life thereby inviting the negativity of doubt and failure to nestle up close into my heart and brain.  What I DO want is to focus on what I want in my life and how I can come across to others from a positive hopeful place.  Somehow I know that the Law of Attraction wove its way all through this retreat weekend.

Stay tuned for “the rest of the story” as I apply what I’ve learned to my life. I’m hoping that it will be helpful for you so that you can notice how the Universe flirts with you as well.