Being Kind Inspite of the Grinch Who Lives Inside of Us
Posted on : 09-06-2006 | By : Lynn | In : Heart Talks, Uncategorized
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There are usually two main characters that take up my psychic space, though I admit to being aware of several sub-personalities who keep a lower profile. One of my main characters is a pretty loving person who cares very deeply about the people around me, cares about the plants and animals in the world and appreciates the clear crystal sound of a cardinal’s song breaking through the morning air with dawn’s new light. Then there is the “other” strong personality that I refer to as my Grinch. For those who may not know what or who the “Grinch” is, well he comes from a Dr. Seuss Fairy tale about a horrible little creature called, “the Grinch” who hates Christmas and because he hates Christmas, he does not want anyone around him to celebrate it or have fun or even discuss Christmas. The way my Grinch manifests itself is that the response I feel inside to everything whether it be another person, the heat of the sun or the MSNBC clip that my husband just sent me with Matt Lauer interviewing Ann Coulter….it’s the feeling of charred bits of feelings all gritty and grimy circling around in my stomach just waiting for an excuse to break out. At times like this, when I feel the Grinch growing exponentially within me, it is hard for me to remember to acknowledge my poor dog as she pads into her 8th day of having to wear a big white plastic cone around her head to keep her from licking at the stitches on her leg or that my ten year old Shepherd mix wags his tail every time I walk into the room, as if to say, “Ain’t Life Grand Lynn!!!”.
It’s times like this, when the Grinchiest of Grinch eyes are beginning to shine through my own pupils, that offer me the opportunity to really dig from deep inside and access the strength that I have (we all have) to be kind where I can, even when being kind doesn’t come easily. It’s easy for me to bend down and kiss my dogs and pat their heads, even when I’ve donned the Grinch persona, but sometimes it’s really, really hard for me to be kind to another person. When I am feeling Grinch, it seems like people get on my last nerve really easily with very little provocation. And yet, when I am able to be kind, even in the most benign ways such as acknowledging the heat to the UPS guy who is out delivering packages in 96 degrees with at least as much humidity, I end up feeling a little bit lighter. Not so heavy. I’ve got to admit to you that this takes practice this being kind inspite of wanting to wallop someone. But the payoff is I believe each time we practice being kind, we erase just a little bit of the Grinch inside of us. It becomes just a little bit paler.
When I used to be really insecure about how I came across to people and was so focused on ME, my husband used to remind me (in his tender Brooklyn manner….) that most people are usually only interested in themselves and are really not paying that much attention to me. This was helpful. It helps me to look at everyone that crosses my path as a human being on this walk of life with me. Sometimes people are further ahead, some are not, and others are parallel to me. The important idea for me has been to remember that they have their lives and concerns just like me. So when I can, I try to acknowledge other people even if it is just that “acknowledging” smile that we humans do or the nod of the head. And where appropriate, like with the UPS guy, let them know that I see them. I just think it’s probably better for us in the long run to overcome our Grinch-ness and at least have the intent to be kind. I remember when I used to allow my Grinch to run my life, well; pretty foul behavior came out of me. It was almost as if I had kept reacting to life that way, I would have ended up petrifying myself from the inside out and would have become frozen in my negativity. Forget that, I like to dance too much!
So if you have a Grinch inside of you, pet him or her and let them know that you love them and then find ways throughout your day to be kind to others (whatever those others are to you) and discover the freedom that comes from the soft side of life.